Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Nomble is BAAAACK!

A team of chao... lost in a DEADLY city... and the only help they have? ...HELP? You kiddin'? WHAT help?

Dark Chao Adventures 08. Freaky. Deadly. Funny. Laugh. Scream. Terror. Teppop. CHAO.

Episode 08-Three: The Nomble Holds Many Secrets, Too

Chapter 1: Breaking Out of City Hall
[the story resumes as the chao enter a dark crawlspace]
Dark: Wow, it's really--
[Shade shoves Dark into the lava]
Red: Thank you.
[Dark respawns and they reach a dead end]
K: Somehow, I blame Dark.
He: Wait... there's light coming from under this wall... I'll crowbar it!
[He breaks the wall down with his crowbar; the wall blows up; lots of chao respawn]
[the next room is visible through a window-- a small office with lots of desk-like things to crawl under, and two pyramid-shaped machines, each with a different color on top (red and blue)]
K: Pyramid machines? They MUST be friendly!
Dark: Something's not right here...
K: You're just jealous that I'm gonna meet the friendly robots FIRST!
[Knuckle steps into the next room and is instantly killed by the robots' lasers]
[Knuckle respawns]
K: You got any better ideas?
Dark: Yes. He, you need to crawl under those desk-like things; try to get to the pyramids! Then, crowbar them to oblivion!
He: I'm on it!
[He runs into the room and instantly ducks under the desks, avoiding the lasers]
[He eventually reaches the pyramids and destroys them]
He: All clear!
[the wall behind him blows up; He respawns]
[the wall leads out into the city]
Hero: Freedom, sorta!
SB: "Sorta" is right. We're close to the Deluxe Office.
PFI: Isn't that good?
SB: "Sorta."
[Purflee the second appears out of nowhere]
PF: Sis!
PFI: Bro!
[they hug]
Shade: Okay, okay, save the mushy sibling love for PBS, you two; we have a deluxe office to find.
PF: The Deluxe Office? Ooh, you don't wanna go there...
PFI: Why not, bro?
PF: One word-- Luis.
He: What about Luis?
PF: Another word-- Nomble.
[horrified expressions are on the others' faces]
PF: Exactly.
Hero: We should just turn back...
Tail: But... where would we go?
Hero: Uh... to the maze place? I mean, it's open, right? And that's how we got back LAST time.
[agreeing remarks]
Shade: Then it's settled. Let's go home!
Dark: Wait... wait, something's definitely not right here.
SB: You have that feeling, too?
Dark: Ever since I met the 'tour guide.' ...*gasp* I-I mean, uh... ever since I went to the bathroom!
SB: The Tour Guide? You... you know of the Tour Guide?
Dark: I've already said too much...
SB: No, no, he's fine with you talking to me.
Dark: Really? When did YOU meet him?
SB: I met him while I was in the bus station last time we were here. I... I was ordered not to talk unless the other knows of him already.
Dark: I see...
SB: And you?
Dark: ...Bus Station, as well. Although THIS time. ...say, what do you know of the cage?
SB: Alas... even I do not know much about that.
Dark: Well, I heard him talking to his master there.
SB: ...Dark, I know who his master is.
Chapter 2: No More Mister Nice Guy
Dark: Really? Who?
SB: It is none other than--
[Shadow Bonic falls into a drainage pipe]
Dark: Shadow Bonic! NO!
[Dark dives into the pipe to follow]
(Note: When the two started talking, the rest of the group had already walked away)
[in the sewers, Dark falls onto a walkway, and sees the Tour Guide walking away, carrying an unconscious S.Bonic]
Dark: (whispering) Tour Guide?
[Dark quietly follows]
[he follows through multiple passages and chambers; each one more "laws-of-physics-breaking" than the last]
[eventually, they reach a flashing, green room]
[the Tour Guide prepares to enter a corridor, but stops; seconds later, he enters a room with a flashing Star Trek face]
[the Tour Guide picks up an RPG (bazooka)]
TG: *quickly turns around* Dark.
Dark: Tour Guide. Where are you taking Shadow Bonic?
TG: To my master. Why?
Dark: He was about to tell me who your master was!
TG: Exactly. I could not allow that to happen. ...for, I want to tell you who my master is.
Dark: Really?
TG: Really.
[an alarm goes off]
TG: What the? ....Slidje is in trouble! Come, we must save him!
Dark: Wait... who?
TG: Just come.
[while Tour Guide leads Dark, the two have time to think]
TG: (thinking) Hmm... this chao isn't physically capable enough to save Slidje...
Dark: (thinking) Just who IS Tour Guide? And who is his master?
TG: (thinking) Besides, all he wants to do is meet my master.
?: (telepathically to TG) *Name censored for spoiler reasons*, I have an idea.
TG: (thinking) Master? ...what is your idea?
[later, the two reach a small room]
[Tour Guide approaches the door]
*dramatic trumpet fanfare*
Telepathy: Slidje has gone missing! Proceed to the briefing room!
[the door opens]
TG: Now, Dark... which would you rather do... save Slidje? Or... meet my master?
Dark: Hmm... well, I don't even know who Slidje IS, so... I'll meet your master.
TG: (quietly) Good... (normally) So, go down the LEFT corridor.
Dark: But... but all those arrows are pointing to the RIGHT!
TG: Eh, those are just for employees, like that 'wash your hands' thing.
Dark: Oh. Okay!
[the Tour Guide proceeds to the right, but puts S.Bonic onto the ground]
TG: Here, you may have your friend back.
Dark: Gee, thanks!
[Dark pulls S.Bonic down the left corridor; Tour Guide secretly watches, grinning]
[suddenly, a door opens down the corridor, revealing the Nomble, who pulls Dark and S.Bonic in]
Dark: OH, CRAP!
[S.Bonic wakes up, screams, and starts running]
(note: the two run at the same speed as the Nomble pulls them in, so they don't move)
[the Tour Guide slowly steps to the edge of the solid ground]
TG: Hope you enjoy your time in Hell, Dark. When the Nomble-- uh, my master wants a death, he GETS a death.
[close-up on Tour Guide's shadowy face]
TG: No respawns.
[the Tour Guide walks down the corridor, and enters the briefing room]
SB: I DON'T-- uh, *a-hem* I don't know.
Dark: Oh. Well, what's your idea?
SB: If we look in a certain direction and run backwards, the inertia should pull us back to solid ground!
Dark: Okay. ....wait, that doesn't make any sense whatsoever!
SB: We're in Chao Talk, Dark. NOTHING makes sense here.
Dark: ...okay, let's try it.
[they try it, and they actually get away from the Nomble!]
Chapter 3: secretcity5beta
[they run away, and get lost]
[after hours of running, they finally make it out of the sewer, and find the others in the Office of Death district]
Dark: *pant* Guys.... hoo... don't... *pant* .... go in that... passage...
Shade: Why not?
SB: *pant* It's.... it's a trap!
Hero: What are you two talking about? It's the way home!
Dark: Okay, we'll tell you.
[the two spend about half an hour telling the WHOLE story about the Tour Guide and everything]
PF: Well, where in that story does it say anything about the way out?
SB: For one thing, the passage isn't there anymore. Go ahead, check.
Dark: *scared* And, another thing.... is... the Nomble... is right behind you. HIT THE DIRT!
[Dark dives and saves most of them, except Knuckle]
[Knuckle respawns]
SB: Dark, I thought the Nomble DOESN'T make people respawn!
Dark: Maybe... but, wait! When the Nomble WANTS a death, he gets one! He didn't actually want Knuckle's death!
Tail: Loophole, much?
Dark: Yes, perhaps... but... how can we use this to our advantage?
SB: Good question. If we, somehow, KILL the Nomble, he'll respawn unless he WANTS to die. But...
Dark: do you make a HOMICIDAL cube... SUICIDAL?
Shade: ...sorry, but I'm just not used to you being so smart!
Dark: Eh, you get used to it. How do you think I feel? I went from the IQ of a chestnut to the IQ of Shigeru Miyamoto!
Tail: I didn't even think that was possible!
[Buddy comes out of a building]
Buddy: Guys? ...where's Honey?
Chao: We don't know!
SB: ...well, there are only a few more places the rest of our group CAN be.
SShade: Great! Let's hear 'em!
SB: The Deluxe Office, OMG2 Park, or dead.
Dark: Yet, something tells me that there's more to this city than that...
SB: The closest place is the Deluxe Office, and THAT'S a two-hour walk from here!
Hero: *sigh* Let's get moving...
[two hours of walking later, night falls on the sky]
Dark: *yawn* Are we there yet?
PF: I think so...
Shade: We ARE! Look!
[in front of them is a large building, easily distinguishable from the rest]
SB: The Deluxe Office... we made it.
[they enter it, and the decor is nice and office-y]
Tail: Nice place. My aunt used to have a place like this.
Dark: Okay, we're gonna have to split up in order to cover more ground.
Hero: All in favor of going down the right?
[they look to the right, and see a noticable Shell sign]
Hero: .....I didn't think so. What about the left?
[they look to the left and see a door, and a staircase leading down and up]
Hero: .....didn't think so, either.
He: Let's draw straws.
[a minute later, all the chao had drawn pictures of straws on paper]
He: Shade, Chao, your straws looked the best, so you go left. Everyone else, go right.
[cut to Shade and Chao exploring the right hall]
[there is a Shell room, a file cabinet room, and a large, reception-like room]
Both: You check the Shell room.
Shade: Let's check it last.
Chao: Right.
[Shade checks the file cabinet room, and explores every inch-- nothing in particular]
Shade: Man, this is boring... *rests on cabinet* *cabinet opens to reveal a secret room* WHOA!
Chapter 4: Office Space Balls
[the secret room has nothing in it]
[cut to Chao, who also explores every inch, only to find nothing]
Chao: Odd. Hey, what's with this computer?
[Chao presses a button on the computer, making a platform come down from the ceiling]
[Shade comes in]
Shade: ...nicely found, Chao. Now, why don't you check it out?
Chao: Me? Why ME?
Shade: 'Cause you found it.
Chao: *sigh* All right...
[Shade presses the button again, making Chao go up with the platform]
Shade: YEAH!
[Chao explores the ventilation/maze thing]
[minutes later, Chao crashes through the ceiling a few feet away]
Chao: Ow. That was pointless.
Shade: Looks like the only room left is... *gulp* ...the Shell room.
[the two slowly approach it]
[the room is composed of a desk and the large Shell sign right behind it]
Shade: Well, we checked it, now let's get out.
Chao: Y-yeah. Let's see how the others are doing.
[cut to a few minutes ago, when the others start exploring the left side]
[to the left of the stairs and door are two empty rooms and another door]
[Dark, Knuckle, and He go down the stairs, while the two Purflees go up]
[the others explore the doors, and find absolutely nothing of importance]
Tail: You know what? I'm just gonna stay in this room. This little bomb shelter. It's mine. I don't wanna die.
[upstairs, the two find a room with an upside-down spinning chair, a room with a computer, and the Turrican room]
PF: Just... who is Turrican?
PFI: What's that?
PF: We see this 'Turrican' guy everywhere. Just... who IS he?
PFI: I dunno; let's check his room.
[they open the door, and see a giant Star Trek face painting]
[they slowly close the door]
PFI: Let's check with the others.
PF: Yeah, let's.
[in the end, Chao, Shade, the two Purfs, Dark, Knuckle, and He go down the stairs]
[down the stairs are three doors-- one locked door, one open door, and one door leading to a dead-end]
[down the open door are MORE stairs, until they finally reach a LONG hallway with two bottomless pits]
[above the first bottomless pit is a walkway, but above the SECOND...]
K: So, we've gotta get across five floating, red blocks that move to the right. guys go first.
Dark: Wuss.
[Knuckle chases Dark across the blocks; Dark jumps out of the way to make Knuckle punch the wall]
Dark: Ow, your FACE.
[the others get across, and find an unopenable door]
[Knuckle chases Dark, Dark dodges, Knuckle punches the door down by accident]
Dark: Knuckle, DON'T stop coming on these dangerous missions.
[the next room is a very large, colorful maze]
Chao: So many mazes, it could make you throw up.
[cut to the Tour Guide, watching them from a distance]
TG: ...Master, they're coming. Don't worry; I'll make sure to lead them to the Ice Temple...
[fade-out to Tour Guide's evil laughter]

For you blog readers... a PREVIEW of the next episode.
Dark: Kick it!
[Shade plays hard guitar solos, which are artificially enhanced by Devilish's keyboard/all-in-one computer thing]
Dark: Open Your Heart, it'll be all right!
[He suddenly starts rapping]

So, that's your preview. Discuss?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

DCA 2008 Special Series continues!

Psst... mLe? Uh... I thought this was YOUR blog. If there's a good reason for you not posting, I apologize. Well, anyway, here's 08-02.

A team of chao... lost in a DEADLY city... and the only help they have? ...HELP? You kiddin'? WHAT help?

Dark Chao Adventures 08. Freaky. Deadly. Funny. Laugh. Scream. Terror. Teppop. CHAO.

Episode 08-Two: The Deadly Trials of Oh My Gawd

[cut to the OMG park, the chao (and Tails Doll) are looking around]
Chapter 1: "Chao Talk's Version of a Suicide Booth"
[Shade approaches a small pod]
[Knuckle runs in and shoves him to the side]
Shade: Knuckle? Where'd YOU come from?
K: I was with Shadow Bonic, now shut up and let ME get into this pod!
[Knuckle enters the pod; the front is quickly covered with glass; water slowly fills the pod]
K: With my last breath, I curse Dark!
[Knuckle drowns, and quickly respawns at the entrance to the park]
K: Ugh... that was... NOT... pleasant...
SShade: Well, that tells us the respawning rule is still in place.
[relieved sighs]
Dark: That's good, 'cause I've always wanted to do this...
[Dark picks Hero up and tosses him off a cliff]
Shade: Uh... Dark? That was Chao; not Hero.
[Hero respawns and shoves him into the pod]
[Dark respawns a minute later; they look around; they find a ladder leading to a platform]
[on the platform, a large Shell sign can easily be seen]
K: Shell? Oh, I remember them; that word ALWAYS leads to trouble. We'll need someone to test it. Any volunteers?
[everyone had run off to a safe distance]
K: ...OH, C'MON!
[Knuckle slowly edges closer to the sign; the platform instantly flings him right into it]
[lots of disgusted groans]
Hero: Tail, cover your eyes!
Tail: I know, I know... ugh... gross...
[more exploration, a large cage with the front open is found; everyone runs from Knuckle and Dark]
Dark: Well, Knuckle, looks like ONE of us is gonna have to go into the cage...
K: After you, Dark...
Dark: Why after ME? You're already in it!
K: What? No, I'm not!
[Dark quickly pushes him in and presses a button; he retreats to the others]
[the cage swings around multiple times; a minute later, it stops]
K: Ugh.... oof... that... was... nauseating...
[next, they find a small crawlspace]
K: This time, I am NOT going in there!
Shade: Yeah, Dark, you sort of... owe him. Go on, get in there.
[Dark slowly enters it, and is sucked in]
Dark: HELP! I can't move!
Shade: Try jumping!
[he does, and flies right up some sort of chimney, and the chao watch as beautiful fireworks set off and kill Dark]
Tail: Pretty lights!
[finally, they find a ladder]
Shade: All in favor?
Dark: (quickly) ..of Knuckle climbing?
All: Aye.
K: Hey, wait a minute!
[Knuckle grumbles as he climbs up, and sees a short hallway]
K: It's safe!
[he steps forward, and falls through the floor onto the ground; he dies somehow]
[they all climb up, and after a few trial-and-error steps, clear the hall of all trap-doors]
[they drop down onto another platform, and move on past any other dangerous-looking things]
Dark: Hey, how is an elevator dangerous? ....don't answer that.
[a little further ahead, they find a launch pad and a target floating in the air]
Shade: All in favor?
Dark: ..of Knuckle NOT going?
K: Heh, this time, I'm not falling for your trick! NOT aye! ...HEY!
[Knuckle flings at the target, and disappears]
K: (in distance) HEY, IT'S SAFE!
[Dark steps on, and hits the target; he dies]
[he gets back up, and tries again; he makes it]
Dark: Eh, 50-50.
Chapter 2: Homicidal Suicide Disorder
[after a spinning walkway, the chao reach a crossroad: thin air, or a sparkly green light]
K: Heh, this time, I'M getting to the good stuff before Dark! TO THE LIGHT!
[Knuckle and Dark race towards the light]
[while they run, Dark thinks for a moment about the mysterious Tour Guide he met]
Dark: "The Nomble holds many secrets, too...." What could it mean?
[Dark slows down to think, then looks at Knuckle, who mysteriously dies]
[back with the group, Dark tests out the thin air, only to find it's an invisible path]
[they find their way up, and across a thin walkway, then to a very tall ladder]
Shade: Eerily long ladder. That means... what, again?
Dark: Um... I think it's either eternal, really long, fake, or has a boss battle at the top. So, Knuckle tests.
[a few seconds later, Knuckle is climbing the long ladder]
Dark: (thinking) Could the Nomble be at the top?, no, it's too easy for that. ...but... what's at the top?
[Knuckle reaches the top]
[they follow him up, and he's right]
Shade: Really odd. Just an empty room except for a window, a door, and those flashy letters spelling 'Turrican.'
Dark: ...Turrican? ....hmm...
Shade: Dark, what's wrong?
Dark: I don't know... I think I got the Big the Cat/Bioware treatment.
Shade: You mean your IQ points just randomly got boosted up?
Dark: Yeah, and now I can't stop THINKING! It's driving me mad! Such constant thinking!
Hero: You get used to it.
[Dark opens the door, and is sucked upwards, followed by the others]
[they awake in what seems like mid-air, suspended high above the park]
Dark: Uh-oh.
SShade: You signed up for it when we woke up in this loony bin of a town...
PFI: You're not standing on air.
[they all scream]
PFI: What choice do I have? I've been stuck here for hours, waiting for someone to come.
He: So, if we're not in mid-air... where ARE we, then?
PFI: We're in a large room made of glass. Unbreakable glass.
Dark: *sigh* ...Whaddya know? Trapped...
[the others argue and cry while Dark realizes something]
Dark: But... how are we breathing?
[the others stop, and listen to Dark]
Dark: If we're REALLY in a room made of glass, and there are no ways out, no air would be able to reach us.
PFI: Your point?
Dark: We can breathe just fine. I say there's an exit somewhere.
[Dark's right; there's a passage leading into a glass hallway]
Shade: Wow, you really DID get the Big-Ware treatment!
[they are all sucked through the hall into a regular room filled with water; an open window is near them]
K: Finally... the way out! See ya, suckers!
[Knuckle hops out the window, and falls about a hundred feet to the ground]
[a minute later, Knuckle made it back to them]
K: Well, I'm all out of ideas.
[Dark hops out the window, but stays close to the wall, and finds a VERY thin ledge for them to walk on]
Dark: C'mon, this ledge must be here for a reason!
[they follow the ledge around the room, being careful not to slip and fall like Knuckle; they find a ladder and climb it]
[they're now on the roof, where a lone button and a small, crawl-through tunnel going nowhere are]
[that is EVERYTHING near them. There are NO visible ways out]
K: Dark, you've killed us all!
[Knuckle chases Dark into the tunnel, and Dark quickly runs out and presses the button; the tunnel is sealed on one end]
K: ...Huh?
[Knuckle is fired out of the Tunnel-Cannon and disappears on the horizon]
Chapter 3: Sledge-HAMMA!
[the others wait a few minutes; Knuckle doesn't return]
SShade: Odd... by now, Knuckle should be here.
Dark: If he were to have died. Obviously, the cannon leads somewhere! Quick, INTO THE CANNON!
[one cannon blast later, they all find Knuckle along with Speedy outside a large skyscraper]
Hero: Speedy... what are YOU doing here?
Speedy: The same thing you guys are doing here.... for. I think.
He: Say, this skyscraper seems familiar... could it be...?
SB: City Hall.
He: Are you sure?
SB: Positive. But, something's different... I think there are sets of dynamite scattered around inside the building.
[they run inside, and see some dynamite by a wall]
TD: Stand back, kids. I know how to operate pyrotechnics!
[a few seconds later, a hole is open in the wall]
TD: ...hey, there's a cave in here! Come loo--
[the Doll is suddenly sucked into the dark cave, which starts to disappear]
Dark: NO!
[Dark runs ahead, and manages to enter the cave before the entrance disappears]
Shade: Eh, he'll make it out.
He: Really?
Shade: Well, he's Dark. He's one of the main characters of this meta show! And main characters NEVER die! ...fully.
Hero: What about Shadow?
Shade: He's alive, remember?
Hero: I thought that was a robot!
Shade: No, if you play Shadow the Hedgehog, and fight Devil Doom for ten minutes, Eggman'll tell you that Shadow lived.
Hero: Well, I don't have Shadow...
[cut to Dark, exploring the cave]
Dark: Man, all this thinking is making me insane.......huh?
[Dark hears the Tour Guide talking in the distance]
TG: ..oll, what are you doing here?
TD: I saw the dynamite, and I went for it.
TG: Thinking outside the box, huh? Well, my boss told me how to take care of curious Georges like you.
TD: The name's 'Tails Doll,' not 'George.' What about YOUR name?
TG: My identity isn't important; your certain doom IS!
TD: B-but... if I die, I'll just respawn, won't I?
TG: Yes, NORMALLY. However, when my boss wants a death, that death ALWAYS happens. ALWAYS.
[Dark creeps closer, and enters a large pit with lava to one side, and a gate in a corner]
[he approaches the gate, and sees the Guide and the Doll behind it]
TG: See that little pod behind you? That's the Shortcut-Maker. It opens the gate behind me.
[Dark gets nervous]
TG: But, to open this gate, it must use sledgehammer.
TD: You... you mean A sledgehammer?
TG: No, Sledgehammer. Enter the pod.
[Dark quickly gets away from the gate]
[he hears the Doll enter the pod, and he suddenly hears Peter Gabriel sing: "SLEDGEHAMMER!"]
[the gate doesn't open, so Dark looks through it, and sees Tails Doll's dead body in the pod]
TG: Master... soon, your dreams will come true. Soon... *evil laughter*
[the Guide turns around, and sees Dark peeking through the gate, and stops laughing]
TG: ....
[Dark quickly stops looking through the gate, and the Guide appears on the other side of the lava]
TG: I can see that you're rather curious.... more curious than that doll.
[Dark slowly becomes more and more scared]
TG: And as much as I'd LOVE to bash your skull in.... my master has told me to make the most of your curiosity.
Dark: What... what do you mean?
TG: First of all, you must be VERY curious about your sudden IQ boost...
Chapter 4: The Deluxe Office Multiplex
TG: This IQ of yours was boosted by my master. He is very powerful. He felt sorry for your lack of knowledge.
Dark: Tell him I want my lack back!
TG: Why? With your new knowledge, you could become like me... and utilize this city's FULL POTENTIAL!
Dark: WHAT?!
TG: ...But I digress. There is an office building in this city somewhere. Not just ANY office, though... a DELUXE office.
Dark: Of death?
TG: I wish. Instead, this office contains the greatest secrets known to all chaokind!
Dark: Why would YOU be interested in Chaokind? You look more like a hedgehog, or something, to me.
TG: *ignoring Dark's question* You may have noticed the countless Shell signs...
Dark: Well, yes, which all eventually lead to death. Why?
TG: Look for the Deluxe Office. You must also be wondering why the Office of Death contains the gateway to Hell...
Dark: That DID pique my interest...
TG: Look for the Deluxe Office. I'm also sure you're wondering about this "Turrican" thing...
Dark: Uh... yeah, I suppose.
TG: Look for the Deluxe Office. You must be curious of the multiple Admin Rooms...
Dark: I know what you're gonna say, but YES, I am.
Both: Look for the Deluxe Office.
Dark: Now, what about the countless appearances of the Nomble? Why is he EVERYWHERE?
TG: ...I must go now. Remember--
Dark: I know, I know, look for the Deluxe-stinking-Office. ...Uh.... wait... how do I get back to the others?
TG: Are you sure you wish to return to THEM? Why not come with me?
Dark: Thanks, but I've had enough of your mysterious ways. --wait... are you a Beta Avenger?
TG: ....*burst with laughter* Wha... haha.... why would you compare ME to THOSE nutjobs?
Dark: *thinks about it* ....*laughs* Heh... I... I dunno! I mean, you're all mysterious, and stuff!
TG: Well, please believe me when I say that Chao Talk has absolutely NOTHING to do with them.
Dark: Okay, thanks.
TG: ...So, are you sure you don't want to come? If not, I shall send you back to your friends, and you will have no clue where to go next.
Dark: ...couldn't you give me a hint where to go?
TG: One hint. Find your way back into this room.
Dark: But, the wall was sealed!
[Dark is teleported back]
Shade: Um... Dark.... what just happ--
Dark: I dunno. Listen-- we need to look for this Deluxe Office. It's--
SB: --the location of many secrets? I know. But, to get there, we must go into the sealed-off room you just came from.
Dark: ...I see. So, anyone got any dynamite?
He: I do.
[everyone stares at He]
He: ...what?
[a few seconds later, they're in the lava room]
Dark: Okay, we have two choices-- go across the deadly lava, or locate the shortcut.
Hero: What shortcut?
Dark: Behind this gate is a box. The box kills you, but eventually opens this gate. The room behind the gate leads to the other side of the lava.
[via careful maneuvering, a few chao make it across the lava, and line up to the box]
Dark: Okay, now you four-- (She)Shade, Knuckle, Speedy, and... Devillish... what are you doing here?
Red: I was waiting for you guys.
Dark: ...anyway, you four, plus me, must enter the pod one-by-one. First, Shade, go ahead.
[SShade enters, hears Sledgehammer, then dies]
[then Speedy]
[then Red]
K: Dark, I think you owe me this time.
Dark: As much as I hate to admit it... you're right. *gulp*
[the other three come to the others (the ones behind the gate) and watch]
[Dark enters; Knuckle grins]
Box: (distorted) SlEdGeHaMmEr.....
[Knuckle dies; the gate opens; Dark steps out of the pod; Knuckle respawns]
K: Ow..... wh-what the? How did I die? You... YOU were in the pod!
Dark: Don't ask me!
[they search around and find a crawlspace]
PFI: What do you suppose is in there?
[Chao crawls out]
Chao: *cough* Whoo, it's dusty in there.
Tail: CHAO! What were you DOING in there?
Chao: Learning about allergies, apparently... *sneeze*...
Dark: Wait... Chao? *gasp* You JERK!
[Dark shoves Chao into the lava]

Saturday, January 12, 2008

DCA 08 (secrecity5) begins! ...with secretcity4.

[cut to the Hero Garden, Hero came home from school to find no one there]
Hero: Hello? Chao? Tail? Knuckle? Speedy? Aqua? Anyone?
[he looks around and finds not one soul]
Hero: Where are they? ...if I were an oven mitt... *snap* Dark Garden.
[he goes to the Dark Garden]
Hero: This is weird.
SShade: I know.
Hero: !!! Whoa! What the?
SShade: I'm wondering where they are, too.
Hero: I'll forgive you for scaring the crap outta me...
SShade: I thought you heroes couldn't say 'crap.'
Hero: *groan* It's just one of Chao's rules. Believe it or not, but... I actually wanted to be a Neutral.
SShade: I see.
MK: Isn't THAT weird?
Both: !!!
SShade: Mecha Knuckles, what the DARK GARDEN were you doing?
MK: The other Poker players are gone, and only Metal has the key to the toilet.
Hero: Wait, the Poker Gang has disappeared?
MK: Didn't I just say that?
Hero: This is odd. Where could everyone BE?
[they look around and check behind the Neutral Garden waterfall, finding a dark room]
SShade: Um... was this always here?
Hero: Nope.
[Hero slowly approaches a large tube with the number '47' on it; SShade and Mecha Knuckles follow]
MK: What... what do you suppose it is?
Hero: I don't know...
SShade: Wait, this all seems familiar... Shade talked about something like this. ...But what?
[the three enter it, and are suddenly frozen]
[fade in to the same tube unfreezing them an undetermined amount of time later]
Hero: What just happened?
MK: I think the tube ate us.
Hero: Really?
MK: No.
Hero: So why'd you say it!?
MK: 'Cause.
[the two argue as SShade fearfully steps towards the large window near them]
SShade: Um... guys? ...I don't like the look of this...
[the other two look out as well, and gasp as they see a large, screaming face running loose]
MK: What the **** is that thing?
Hero: Don't say that. It's the Nomble... the worst scum to ever run amok in the world.
SShade: Hey, wait... wasn't the Nomble on Chao World... NOT... wherever we are?
MK: Add two and two together, kids.
Hero: ...four?
MK: NO! This Nomble thing was on Chao World, and we don't know where we are, so we must be in Chao World!
[SShade and Hero look at each other with fear]
Hero: Oh, Hero Chaos, no...
SShade: It... can't be!
MK: What?
Hero: The Nomble will kill us if we don't run!
MK: Heh... this thing? How can that face freak kill ME? I'm Mecha Knuckles! You dirtbags may be small and sufficent for squishing, but not ME! Mecha don't bend that way!
[the two chao quickly hide, and Mecha turns around; he is suddenly squashed by the Nomble]
[zoom-in on the chao in fear as the Nomble's horrifying scream is heard]

A team of chao... lost in a DEADLY city... and the only help they have? ...HELP? You kiddin'? WHAT help?

Dark Chao Adventures 08. Freaky. Deadly. Funny. Laugh. Scream. Terror. Teppop. CHAO.

Episode 08-One: Escape from the Bus Station!

Chapter 1: This Seems Familiar
[suddenly, the Nomble moves away, and the chao take a peek out the window]
SShade: Uh-oh...
[they're in a peaceful-looking city]
Hero: Please, please, PLEASE tell me we're not in--
?: --Chao Talk. It's sad, is it not?
[they turn around and see a gray chao wielding a crowbar-- He]
SShade: He! What happened to you?
He: I was meant to be in the Chao World, so I left the gardens. Besides, I got a neat job offering in the Chao Stadium as a racer.
[check Sonic Adventure 2's Challenge races]
He: However, something went wrong. Something terrible.
Hero: ...what?
He: ...I don't know. Something messed up the 'Goodbye' option... I woke up in the bus station, about to be crushed.
SShade: How'd you get out?
He: Hello? Crowbar? This thing is my weapon of choice! I've found a million and one uses!
[silence; a cough is heard]
He: ...nontheless, there's no point just standing here. Let's go to the bus station and look for stuff.
Hero: Like we have a choice.
[so they do]
[hours are spent searching, but all they find are the things they found before, and one living room]
Hero: This is hopeless! *hops onto couch* What are the chances of actually finding a way outta here?
SShade: I know.... this place is Hell. And I don't mean 'Dark Garden' Hell, I mean 'HELL' Hell. He, turn on the radio, will you?
[He does, and some Star Trek dance song is playing]
SShade: Ew, turn it off.
[He does]
[minutes later, SShade tells him to see if the song's finished, and it's still playing]
SShade: Not finished? Great, now we have to stay in Hell, listening to THIS.
Hero: I dunno; the song's not that bad.
[half an hour passes, and the chao just sit there while the same song is playing the whole time]
SShade: Does this song EVER end? What station is this, Geek FM?
He: Uh... I think this is all the radio can play.
[SShade groans and slams her fists on the calendar nearby, which slips away to reveal a secret room]
[in the secret room are coordinates for who knows what]
Hero: This place is creepy.
He: Thanks, Eagle-Eyes.
[the chao decide to look around due to boredom, and they find a new door open; they all enter it]
[inside are hundreds of filing cabinets, stretching as high as the eye can see]
He: What do you suppose are in these?
SShade: I don't know; let's check one.
Hero: I don't think you should, Shade.
SShade: Why not?
Hero: Well, considering the rest of this town...
SShade: Good point. Let's just look for anything of significance.
[they all keep walking, and the files seem to multiply in numbers, and get higher]
Hero: I think I'm going crazy...
He: Why do you think that?
Hero: It seems as if... the WALLS are filing cabinets...
[the other two look higher, and see that it's not just his craziness; the walls and ceiling really ARE!]
[Hero turns back, but stops; he starts twitching]
SShade: What's wrong NOW?
Hero: Um... we DID come this way... right?
SShade: Last time I checked; why do you ask?
Hero: I ask because... there's a filing cabinet where we just came from.
SShade: There are filing cabinets EVERYWHERE, Hero.
He: *turns around* ...Uh... Shade... he's right. ...the cabinets are moving...
[they all run, screaming, and eventually fall through a floor]
Chapter 2: 1408, Chao Edition
[seconds later, He opens his eyes and sighs]
He: Well.... looks like our little journey didn't take us anywhere...
[the other two wake up, and gasp]
SShade: We're... we're back in the living room!? How did this...?
Hero: Well, no point sitting here listening to silence; let's hear that Star Trek!
[Hero turns the radio on, but the song is distorted]
[the three stand, disturbed, as the song shifts between normal and slow, then back again]
[He slowly steps towards the TV, and gasps]
He: You... you guys may want to take a look at this...
[on the TV is an odd, worm-like face]
SShade: All in favor of going to the cafeteria for something to eat?
Both: Aye.
[they leave the room, but are shocked to enter the living room]
He: But... but we just left this room! ...hey, where'd the TV, couch, Chess Table, and radio go?
[Hero steps forward a bit and looks in fear at the door on the ground]
[familiar screams for help are heard coming from within]
SShade: Wait... is that... Dark? I'm coming, Dark!
[she jumps into the door, and falls into the living room, followed by the other two]
Hero: Hey, who turned the room to its side?
[the room is flipped about 90 degrees onto its side; SShade notices Dark]
SShade: Dark! What were you doing in here?
Dark: I don't know! Now HELP! There's a room with a large, spinning chair in there! I'm scared!
[...whaddya know, it's true]
Hero: That's... weird. Then again, in this city, what ISN'T?
[they enter the room, and quickly drop through the floor into a strange, yellow hallway]
[upon further walking, they find Tail running in fear]
Hero: Tail! What's wrong?
Tail: I'm terrifyed! There's something going on here, I tell you!
He: What's going on here?
Tail: I... I don't know.... I mean, I heard some evil laughter coming from somewhere....
[after some looking, they're the only ones in there]
Tail: Hero... you believe me, don't you?
Hero: Actually, yes. Shocking as it may seem, there are VERY high chances of Tail being true.
[suddenly, they all fall through the floor again, and land in some sort of facility]
SShade: Okay, I'm getting tired of dropping through the floor!
DJ: Hey, I didn't make this place.
SShade: I know, but did you HAVE to choose for us to go HERE? Couldn't we go somewhere BETTER?
He: Shade, stop breaking the fourth wall.
[looking around, all they see is a door and some oily water]
[they enter the door, and find another door which doesn't open, and some dials]
[each dial raises a little crawlspace above the water]
[everyone looks at Dark]
Dark: What?, crap.
[He raises one crawlspace, allowing Dark to enter it, and SShade raises another, which Dark enters]
[then, Tail raises the third one, Dark enters; Hero raises the fourth one which Dark exits through and opens the door]
Dark: You... you jerks! I could've fallen into the oil and DIED!
SShade: Be glad we didn't just dip you into the oil.
[they continue and see three jail cells-- one with a man sitting in a corner, one with a man trying to open the cell, and the other with a dead man]
Dark: Hey, that's no man; that's the Tails Doll!
TD: HEY! GET ME OUTTA HERE! I'm sick of trying to open this freaking door!
[they somehow let him out]
TD: Thanks, I guess... when we get outta here, you chao will be cursed last.
[they enter the next room]
Chapter 3: Mad Dash into the Beyond
[in the room is a dial next to a window, and the way into the next room]
[out the window is a door which opens as long as the dial is held down]
[one mad dash later, Dark runs past thousands of turrets and gets behind the door]
[Dark finds a second dial and keeps the door open for the rest]
[they enter a door and find themselves in a black-and-white corridor, nothing special]
[after some moving, they reach a colorful set of rooms which lead to a junction]
Hero: I say we go to the right. I mean, the left just seems.... creepy.
He: While that's one crappy reason, I agree with you. I'm getting some... vibes from the left.
[they go to the right, except Dark, who hears something]
?: Hey. You. C'mere.
Dark: Who, me?
?: Yeah, you. Come to the left.
[Dark goes and drops into a large room with three abstract paintings]
?: Now, see that large painting to the right? Walk into it.
[Dark does and sees another black-and-white corridor]
[he sees some sort of figure in front of him]
Dark: Who are you?
?: Call me... your tour guide to this haunted city.
Dark: Okay, T.G, just what's going on here? Why'd you want me to go here?
TG: Keep on going through this corridor, and you will see...
[Dark slowly walks across, and falls through the floor into another corridor, not black-and-white; TG follows]
TG: Now follow me across these septic tanks-- I mean, candy silos. Come, jump into the last one!
[TG jumps in, followed by Dark, and TG turns a dial, opening a secret passage]
[TG enters and bids Dark to follow him]
[cut to the others entering a room with a large pit in the middle]
He: What do you suppose is in there?
Shade: Hey, is that you guys? COME DOWN HERE, I NEED YOUR HELP!
[they jump into the pit and find Shade]
SShade: Shade! *hugs Shade* I was so worried! Where are we?
Shade: Some sort of mine... of some sort. Through this passage is a large button, but I'm too scared to get to it!
Hero: Shade, how'd you even end up here?
Shade: I dunno. I mean, I woke up here after trying to ditch school. Mister Prower sure knows how to torture us, huh?
He: You're not in CPAK, or anywhere like that; you're in Chao Talk!
[Shade's pupils widen]
Shade: Suh... suh... say WHAT!?
SShade: We're scared about it, too.
TD: So, where's this button you were talking about?
[Shade leads them across the 'mine' to a button, which the Doll presses]
Telepathy: A SUPER SECRET trigger has been found!
Shade: ...well, THAT sucked. Hey, have you guys found Dark yet?
He: Yeah, he's right here. He's been awfully quiet lately...
[they look around]
He: ...uh-oh.
Shade: Eh, he's Dark; he can get outta trouble faster than me. In the mean time... where do we go from here?
[they look down the 'mine' shaft]
[Shade hacks a loogie down the shaft, but they don't hear it hit the ground]
Hero: Creepy.
[Shade pushes Tail down the shaft; Hero pushes Shade down in anger; everyone else pushes everyone else down in a chain reaction]
[Tails Doll jumps down]
[seconds later, they awake on nice, green grass]
Hero: Ugh... guys... I think... we're out.
Shade: Lucky us.... *faints*
[everyone faints in exhaustion]
Chapter 4: The Cage, the REAL Mine, and the 1408
[cut to Dark and TG, who climb down a ladder into a large room]
Dark: Whoa...
[the main feature of the room is a large cage; two buttons are nearby]
Dark: What's with the cage?
TG: All in good time, Dark... all in good time. For now, just follow me.
[he does, and the guide leads him accross some sort of Chess Table]
Dark: ...I don't even wanna know what just happened.
[the guide shows Dark to a door]
TG: Beyond this door is where you shall be on your own...
Dark: What? Why?
TG: Alas, I have... PLANS to take care of. Just remember this... the Nomble holds many secrets, too.
[the tour guide walks back as Dark opens the door]
[inside the door is a large mine going down a long way]
[and it's a REAL mine, too. It has a red-ish glow]
Dark: Very creepy.
[as he goes down, the guide's mysterious phrase about the Nomble buzzes through his head]
Dark: The Nomble holds many secrets.... what, exactly, did he MEAN?
[finally, Dark reaches the bottom of the mine, and gasps]
Dark: This seems familiar...
[he has reached the living room, except for one thing-- the room is gigantic!]
Dark: This is spooky. VERY spooky.
[carefully trying not to fall down the miles and miles of length to the floor, Dark walks along the bookcases]
[after some careful jumps, Dark makes it to the radio and turns it on]
[the Star Trek song is playing ridiculously slow]
[Dark runs around and reaches a small vent which leads to a large, towering room with grappling hooks]
Dark: w00t; grapples! I love these things!
[he uses them to get up, which leads to another grapple room, this time with a long drop]
Dark: I can do this! BATMAN POWERS... ACTIVATE!
[the Batman theme plays as Dark jumps, but the song stops as he falls]
[he uses the grapple to cushion his fall, and finds some sort of park, where he rests]
[a minute later, Dark tries the jump again, and makes it]
Dark: Sweet. ...huh?
[he can see the cage from his position, and sees the Tour Guide talking]
TG: ..n't fail. .....not to worry, sir; that Dark moron won't be able to go two steps without falling down the mine!
[monstrous mumbling is heard]
TG: Huh? ...he's where? ...sir, you must be mistaken; there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY he could *notices Dark*... have... survived.
[Dark notices he's been noticed, jumps up the ladder into the 'candy silo,' and swims as fast as he can back to the corridor]
[TG follows him; Dark reaches a dead end]
Dark: So this is how it ends... gunned down by my own tour guide...
TG: So... what do you know?
Dark: Um... you were talking to someone, and you thought I was a moron.
TG: Quit your lying! *wields knife, points it at Dark* Tell me EVERYTHING you know!
Dark: That IS everything I know! I swear! I wouldn't lie to someone with a knife!
TG: ...*puts knife away* ...I see. You know what? I'm gonna let you off with a warning this time.
Dark: Thank you!
TG: Don't put your nose where it shouldn't be. Nosy people don't last long here.
Dark: I understand, sir!
TG: boss says you can go back to your friends. While I don't completely agree with this, I must let you.
Dark: Tell your boss I said 'thanks!'
TG: Listen... I'll teleport you to your friends, on TWO conditions.
Dark: Let's hear 'em!
TG: One: You stop being so nosy. Two: This whole thing, starting with meeting me, NEVER HAPPENED.
Dark: I read you loud and clear.
[the guide teleports him to his friends]
Shade: Dark! Where WERE you?
Dark: I met this guy--- uh.... I mean, I was in the bathroom.
Shade: Well, we don't know where we are. Think you can help?
[Dark looks around]
Dark: ...Nope.
[S.Bonic comes out of nowhere]
SB: You guys are in OMG park; Chao Talk's version of a suicide booth.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

So, what did your DJ give you?

Shade and Chao fighting,

Some idle chitchat,

A previewing phrase,

Sven Co-op geek talk,

Some rather vague statements,

Yet another rumor,

Movie recommends',

All the shorts I made up,

A Christmas short of cheating,


The Tee Em Ee Dubb-yoo Tee,

An accomplished promise,

The revealance of a rumor,

and a fan's friend drove up a tree!