Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Been gone a few days, and I still am.

It's DJay again. What's up?

I have a very good reason, well, TWO, for not updating any DCA stuff.

1 (the one I just made up): No feedback. C'MON!

2 (the REAL one): New computer. Don't worry, all the DCA data has already been transferred. Come on, guys, I'm smarter than that. But, this CPU plays games like a race car! Freaking awesome! Plus, I'm currently downloading the first ever Portal demo, "The First Slice." A full eleven levels, apparently. Let me just say that with this new computer, it may take a while before I decide to make anything.

However, let me just say that I have some surprising surprises in my surprising surprise bag. Surprise!

[SFX: Radio turn on]
Male1: As many A-Lifes may know.... it's lonely being made by Sonic Team. Very. Hated by Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft fans everywhere!
Female: I recently went to a DVD store, and everyone noticed I was a Nightopian. Suddenly, I was being shot at! I didn't know what to do! It's so lonely being an A-Life...
Male1: Well, recently, we here at Chao Raging Against People have created our own radio station, "Chao Chat!" The only station where Sonic Team createes can join together and just... chat.
Male2: After losing my leg to a Master Chief cosplayer, I decided to tune in to this station. It completely changed my life! I'm never lonely again!
Male1: So, tune in to Chao Chat, at 200.1 FM, to listen to REAL chao and never be alone again!

"Heroes United"
Female (polite): Welcome to the Hero Garden. Welcome.... to the future. The future where we can beam our voices into your radio sets and automobiles. The wonderful hosts at Chao Chat have decided to allow us to keep a line open for all of your input... and output. Output.... from the future. Tune in every day at 7:00 AM until 5, only on 200.1 FM.

"The Dark Show"
Red: Wassup, listeners? Red here, but you can call me "Devilish." I'm here to inform you of the wildest party to hit the gardens-- and YOU'RE invited. Where? Your local radio, at 200.1 FM. When? 5:00 PM until 7 in da morning! What day? EVERY day. We're gonna talk about everything from the Alphabet to Zucrose. ...everything in between, I swear.

"Poker Tourney 08"
[SFX: glass smash]
MS: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, calm down! Oh, hey. Metal Sonic here, at the 2008 Poker Tournament.
[SFX: group of drunk guys cheer]
MS: Hey, hey, shhh! Guys, we're on the radio! Shut up! Oh, well, uh... every Thursday, at 8:00 PM, the Darks hand the mics over to us to give you the inside scoop on the night's poker game. The game lasts until 9 PM, and someone always loses more than just the game.
MK: He means people get their legs ripped off!
MS: Hey, Mecha, shut up!
[SFX: shove, Mecha crashes into something]
MS: Trust me, this is something you do NOT wanna miss out on. Only on Chao Chat, 200.1 FM!

Female: The following commercial represents a show not suitable for ages 17 and younger.
Red: Ever get tired of the public bull**** they teach you in CPAK? Well, tune in to 200.1 FM every night starting at midnight until 7 AM for some true "politics," if you catch my drift. Hell, once a week, we get some hot girls to come by the station and undress for us. It's WILD, and you do NOT wanna miss this. The Late Nite Darks, only on Chao Chat!

Before you turn on your radio, DON'T. This is not a real radio show they are speaking of, it's only available in DCA's gardens. In other words, it'll be a running gag, as well as some other stuff I won't speak of.

I hope we speak again some time!

Monday, April 14, 2008

It's still a mystery....!

So, I would've shown this sooner, but my internet connection was down. ...I'll show it after a talk.

Superstitio Beneficium is confusing, right? ...at the negotiations part? Lemme tell you, I probably shouldn't have put that part in. Part of it refers to something that has happened in the DCA world at that point, but not in REAL life yet (sending the soldiers away, Mission 20, Final Mission of the Dark Chao Army before Shade "retires"), and part of it refers to something that's vice versa (Portal Storms).

Lemme tell you s'more, it'll all make sense when I finally decide to put DCRPG into my higher priorities. I've told some people this, but I wanna make sure it's clear-- DCRPG is DCA "history." What the participants choose to do in it determine what the cast n' crew "remember" from their "pasts." Basically, DCRPG takes place before DCA. Think of it as a prequel.

Also, Superstitio Beneficium is LITERALLY Latin for "Fan Service." ...something like that. Expect there to be more. I'm currently working on multiple things, but Episode 2 is somewhere in there.

Now, for those who don't frequent/go to Chao Talk, there's a contest recently made over there. It revolves around solving a master mystery of epic DCA proportions. Epic as in "a mini-series of its own." Don't worry, you'll get to read the series, even if you don't visit Chao Talk. Here's the first part-- the prologue.

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES BONUS: Professor (She)Shade-on and the Curious Animals
A Bonus Story by DJay32

[our story begins in the Chao Lobby]
[that music from Sonic Adventure that played during the one scene where you were Knuckles and in the past for the third time

and Tikal was on fire and stuff, you know, the really sad-sounding one? Yeah, that one plays. Oh, and the chao were on fire,

too. It was sad, and slightly funny.]
[the Chao World Exit teleporter thing flashes]
[a lone tiger (Small Animal) comes out]
[it meows and enters the Dark Garden]
(remember, you can't see what's happening)
Shade: I'll get it!
Shade: Hang on, this stick's not sharp enough! Let me sharpen it...
SShade: Shade, that's a pencil. Here, use THIS!
Shade: Thanks!
Dark: Oh no... please, that's really big! Don't!
Shade: I dropped it. Sorry, Dark!
Dark: You could've killed me! AND THE HEADCRAB'S STILL EATING MY BRAINS!
Red: I know how to get rid of it! We're gonna tape it to your head, Dark, so get ready.
Dark: Huh?
[taping noises]
Red: Now, we're gonna tape its eyes open.
Shade: Eyes? Hmm...
[taping noises]
Red: Now we're gonna force it to watch us play Sonic R!
[lightning sound, horses neigh in the distance, a TV is heard switching to Teletubbies]
ChaowatchingTV: HEY!
[STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP..... PUNCH! ....Footsteps..... sit, TV is heard switching back]
Red: Okay, watch THIS, headcrab!
["Can You Feel the Sunshine" is heard, Sonic R noises are heard]
[Tiger death cry]
Dark: OW, MY HEAD! Did you HAVE to rip the tape so hard?
Red: Sorry.
Shade: Hey, that's not a headcrab! It's a little tiger!
[cut to the Dark Garden, now we can finally see what's happening]
SShade: That's weird... why would a tiger latch onto Dark's head?
Dark: I dunno.
SShade: I feel like something odd's gonna happen.
[nearby scream is heard]
Tail: (distant) AAHH, IT'S A HEADCRAB!!!
Dark: No, it's not!!! It's a tiger!!!
SShade: I get the feeling that we'll be seeing more of these tigers...
Dark: What makes you say that?
[waves of tigers walk into the gardens, screams are heard]
SShade: That's why.
[all the tigers roar]
SShade: Guys, let's go.
All: Got it.
[cut to the secret chamber on the island across the lake (Episode 6, remember?); all the Darks are gathered up]
Red: All right, so who did this? Come on, fess up!
Red: Hmm... none of us? Or ONE of us?
Red: HEY, I'm not talking to myself here!
Shadow (chao): Uh, Devilish? We're over here.
Red: What? Oh, so I WAS.
Shade: Everyone quiet down! You can't stay here forever, you know. I do things in here. Important things! The ruler of a

garden can't have everyone snooping around in his private chambers!
[everyone shuts up, but has a disturbed look on their faces]
Shade: ...shut up. Now, we need someone to investigate this mess. I say I should--
SShade: No, Shade. These are YOUR chambers, right? So, you should stay here and stop people from doing stuff!
Shade: You're completely right. *hits Dark* Get away from there!
Dark: But I wasn't doing anything!
[Shade (female) looks around, and gets an idea]
SShade: Say, Shade? Mind if I check if the tigers are still there?
Shade: Yeah, yeah, I'll do it when I get back.
[she leaves, and notices all the tigers scattered throughout the garden, all standing still, quiet, aware of her presense]
SShade: Um... this all seems familiar.
[she steps into the garden, and no tiger makes a move; she quietly steps over some tigers and leaves]
SShade: By the way, DJay? They're tigers... not birds.
DJ: I know. I just liked that scene.
[she enters the Lobby, and sighs]
SShade: Man, I never thought there'd be so many...
[she sits down by a wall, and thinks]
SShade: Hmm...
[rumbling is heard from the Chao Transporter]
SShade: Wha!? Another tiger!?
[the transporter stops, and Shade slowly steps closer]
[suddenly, Phantom tumbles out of it and hits Shade]
Both: AAAHHH!!
Ph: Whoa... sorry, Shade. I guess I should watch how many beers I have next time, huh?
SShade: Wait, WHAT? A chao drank beer!?
Ph: Relax, our A-Life bodies react to it differently than people. The A-Life system treats it as a Dark fruit!
SShade: So... you were drinking beer outside?
Ph: Yeah, but Player 1 left me, so I had to wait for Player 2 to bring me back.
SShade: Who's P2?
[more rumbling comes from the Chao Transporter]
?: Geez, of all the times I've hated them, I end up HELPING one... how IRONIC!
SShade: I know that voice...
[Eggman steps out of the transporter]
SShade: Doctor Robotnik?
Egg: That's "Doctor Robotni--".... oh, that's what you said. I thought you called me "Eggman," like everyone else.
SShade: Doctor, are you behind the whole tiger business?
Egg: What tiger business? Don't tell me they already started the plan without me!
SShade: Who's "they?"
Egg: Um, uh... nobody. Just... talking to myself. Yeah.
[suddenly, the Transporter rumbles frantically]
Ph: What the Dark Garden?
Egg: Whoever's on the other side must desperately want to enter!
?: C'monc'monletmeinletmeinhurryhurrypleaseohmyherochaosjustLETMEIN!!!!
[Chaosky flies into the room, and slams into a wall]
Chy: Ow.... at least I'm in...
SShade: What the Dark Garden happened to you?
Chy: Ugh... Player 2.... is chasing me....
SShade: Wait, wait, WAIT... I thought Doctor Robotnik was Player 2!
Ph: Yeah, me, too!
[everyone looks at Eggman]
Egg: What? I...I'm P2!
Chy: Can we trust him?
SShade: I dunno...
Ph: I say we do. I mean, he brought me in here!
SShade: Wait, I remember something I once made! My PLAYER TRACKER!
[The Player Tracker is a small device which has a screen telling you what player is who]
Player Tracker: Player 1-- Sonic the Hedgehog, Player 2-- Doctor Robotnik
Chy: Look, I SWEAR, I was chased by Player 2!
SShade: Hmm... let's hear your Testimony.

REMEMBER! The goal of "Professor Shade-on" is to figure out the answer to ALL questions! When testimonies appear, look for

ANY CONTRADICTIONS! THEN you'll know the answer!

MYSTERY: Multiple Eggmen

Chaosky's Testimony
Here's how it went: Phantom and I went to the pub to try some beers. Naturally, I was afraid the beers would make me drunk,

but they actually acted like Dark Fruit! Unfortunately, when we were about to leave, we noticed that Sonic had ditched us.

Y'know... Player 1. So, I went back in the pub while Phantom called for Player 2 to come get us. Apparently, Eggman must've

already picked him up, 'cause when I went back out a few minutes later, he was gone! So, I waited, until suddenly, I saw

somebody come up on the horizon with "P2" above his/her head. However, I noticed he/she was coming at me with a weapon, so I

ran for it. You heard me banging on the Transporter, right? I didn't get a good look at 'em, but trust me, it was Player 2!

SShade: So... Phantom was in this, too? Okay, what about YOUR testimony?

Phantom's Testimony
So, we went to get those beers, of course. We had our rounds, but sometime during that, Sonic must've gotten up and left,

'cause he wasn't there when we wanted to go! Chaosky went back in to wait while I gave Eggman a call. I said, "'Sup,

Eggmeister? Listen, it's me, Phantom. Apparently, Sonic's a bad Chao Breeder, 'cause he left us at a bar! ....yeah, he

brought us here. Yeah, I know-- terrible, right? ...I know, I know, you hate that hedgehooooooooog.... but, could you come

pick us up? We're at that new bar down in Station Square. The Chaos Cola one. That's right... the one YOU wanna go to. You

can? Thanks!" Whaddya know, he came really fast. So, he took me here. C'mon, look at him, he's OBVIOUSLY Player 2!

SShade: I see... so, how did Sonic get you there?

Chaosky (How Sonic Got Us There)
Sonic? He ran to us super fast. SUPER fast. Why? I was thirsty, and Phantom said he knew a great place. Apparently it was

some kind of bar in Station Square. "Chaos Cola," or something. He took us there and... he must've left while we drank.

Phantom (How Sonic Got Us There)
Sonic picked us up at the Lobby, and took us to Chaos Cola. That's pretty much it, y'know?

SShade: I see... Chaosky, you mentioned something about the person holding a weapon. Could you describe the weapon to me?

Chaosky (Player 2's Weapon)
Ooh, boy, that was one scary weapon. It may have been dark, but I could tell the details. I could see that P2 was holding it

like a gun. Wait... it WAS a gun! Yes, I remember now! It was red! The front of the gun (the part where the bullets come out)

was very long. Plus, there was some kind of... scope on top. It might have been a sniper's rifle, but it was red. And the

front wasn't THAT long. 2P was running kinda slow, though. I could easily escape, but I was still scared.

SShade: So, you could tell the details of the weapon? What about Player 2 him/herself?

Chaosky (Player 2)
Uh... I'll try. Um... it was a guy. I'm not sure how I can tell, it just occured to me. He had a big moustache, and he was

fat. Oh, and he was bald! That's all I can remember.

SShade: Hmm... that DOES sound like Robotnik...
Ph: But... but I called him, and he said he'd come! And, trust me, he DID say it. And he came!
Egg: See? I'm me! No doubt about it!
SShade: ...
Chy: Yet... if you ARE Eggman... who, or WHAT was chasing me?
Ph: Then again, if the person chasing you was Eggman... who, or WHAT, is this guy standing in front of us?
Chy: *gulp* ...thinking about it, I'm hoping I was chased by someone else...
Ph: I know what you mean.
[they look at Eggman]
SShade: Hmm.... then, what was his motive?
Chy: Wha?
SShade: You say Eggman chased you. What would his motive be? Did you ever interfere with his plans in the past?
Chy: No, I DID find that bit odd.
SShade: Yes, exactly.
Egg: So there you have it-- that person down there OBVIOUSLY isn't me!
SShade: ...and there's still one piece missing from the puzzle...
Ph: Really?
SShade: Yes, and if we knew it, this mystery would wrap up nicely.
Egg: Well, let's hear it, then!
SShade: We know what Chaosky was doing. We know what Phantom was doing. What we DON'T know, however... is what SONIC was


DJ: There's the puzzle, folks. What YOU need to solve ISN'T what BOTH characters are; you just need to find out the identity

of ONE Eggman. Then, you have to figure out WHICH one that person is.

Since this is the first mystery, I'll help you out: you're trying to figure out if Eggman is with the chao, or was chasing


Here are some more things: You'd think Chaosky's chaser would bang on the Transporter, demanding to get in, wouldn't you? Why

on earth DIDN'T he/she?

Why WOULD Sonic decide to run off during the chao's drinking?

If both Eggmen look like Eggman, there must be some kind of trick, prank, gimmick, or secret involved.

Note: the tigers have nothing to do with this.

I won't help you out again. Now, let's look at the Journal!

JOURNAL (Prologue)

- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED

- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? UNSOLVED

Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Player 1-- Sonic the Hedgehog} {Player 2-- Doctor Robotnik} {Player 3--


Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Phantom (Male, Third-Party)- Involved in current case. Says Eggman came and picked him up from a bar.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Involved in current case. Says Eggman chased him from a bar.
Eggman (Male, Human)- Suspect in current case. Says he picked Phantom up, but did not chase Chaosky.
Sonic (Male, Hedgehog)- Possibly involved in current case. Said to have left Phantom and Chaosky at a bar. Location unknown.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I'm back! Life sucks!

Well then, I haven't been very active. M'bad. Of course upon logging in I thought I remembered my password but then misspelled it and went ahead to be retarded and I sent myself an email that I hoped would tell me my password but didn't so I tried the password I tried before and I typed it correctly and it worked. Jeez, I suck.

Anyway, Brawl is the best game ever. The end.

And I spent my entire Spring break under pressure because I have a freaking mythology speech to work on which is due MONDAY and then I have to PRESENT it because I just LOVE talking to people for extended amounts of time about something that I don't care about. Seriously, they brainwash you. I then have to answer numerous questions about reading stuff and half of them don't even make sense. And I have to read something and fill out a summary sheet. Then the Monday after tomorrow-Monday I have a huge writing assignment due. Ugh. I don't even have my speech written yet. I'm still working on my powerpoint.

I would also like to add that mythology can be very disturbing.



I don't even need to comment on that statement.

And you do not want to know.


Wow, I really need more sleep.

So here's some DCA so I'm not all that off-topic here.

Shade: This... is the story of a rivalry. The story of pain.... the story of our lives as chao. Our adventures... as Dark chao. Our......

Dark Chao Adventures.

Shade: Specifically, this is the story of one of my earliest duels with Chao. Chao, my rival, was being a dork, so it was up to me to stop him.

Episode One SUPERSTITIO BENEFICIUM: A-Vita Intrinsecus Signum

[our story begins deep down in the planet of chao... in the Dark Garden...]
[Shade, the lord of all Dark chao is planning an assault of the Hero Garden]
Chapter 1: This Dark Chao's Goin' to War!
[cut to a gray Dark chao (Shade) looking at a map in front of a group of other chao]
Shade: All right, here is the Hero Garden.
Randomchao: Where?
Shade: There.
Randomchao: Where?
Shade: Right... THERE.
Rc: I don't see it.
Shade: It... it's marked with a large, red X.
Rc: It's pretty hard to see a red X on this map...
Shade: The... the rest of the map is in black and white.
Rc: Sir, I just don't see it.
Shade: Look, if you would just LOOK at the map...
Rc: I can see it fine from here, what I DON'T see is the red X!
[the chao looks at the map]
Rc: ...OH, now I see it!
Shade: Anyway, here is the Hero Garden, our rivals' base of operation.
Rc: Where?
[Shade glares at him]
Rc: ....sorry.
Shade: Now, on to our plan! You, mister "I Don't See It," will be the one to go there and stand in plain sight.
Rc: Well, that doesn't sound so bad--
Shade: Wearing THIS.
[Shade pulls out a T-shirt with the words "Hero chao suck more than their mothers!" on it]
Shade: Now, if you'd have listened to me, you might not have to do this, but whaddya know--
?: Sir?
Shade: ....who.... interrupted... my.... PLANS?
[the camera turns to show a normal Dark chao (Dark)]
Dark: Um... it was me, sir.
Shade: Dark! This had better be good.
Dark: There is a Neutral here.
Dark: Sir?
Shade: ...is that all? Yes? Oh, I'm sorry, but I was assuming you'd have something... IMPORTANT to tell me!
Dark: B-but, sir--
Shade: Dark, every one of us started somewhere. I, believe it or not, started off as a Neutral chao. Now, I don't know abotu you, but... that sounds rather normal... DOESN'T it?
Dark: I'm... sorry, sir, but I don't see where this is going.
Shade: You DON'T SEE-- *deep breath, relaxes* .... calm down, Shade, remember your blood pressure...
[Shade sits down on a tombstone]
Shade: Dark.... is this all you have to tell me?
Dark: Um... no.... wait, yes. Yes.
Shade: That's all he has to tell me; minions... isn't that funny? My right-hand man, my second-in-command... with nothing important to tell me!
[the rest of the Darks laugh]
Shade: All right, Dark... make yourself useful and work in guard duty.
Dark: Yes, sir.
Shade: Moving on... if you survive the torture, mister "I Don't See It," then you will do a loop-de-loop, jump up and down like a monkey, and bite their brains out.
Rc: ......I don't wanna!
Shade: I don't care. Any questions?
[suddenly, a green Dark chao (Shadow) comes running in, out of breath]
[Shadow talks like a child who is learning English]
Shadow: Shade, sir! Sir! *pant* The... Hero guys are... there!
Shade: What? Where?
Shadow: Over there!
Shade: The front gate?
Shadow: Uh, yeah! Yeah!
Chapter 2: Hero Garden
[Shade slowly opens the front gate]
Shade: Who is it?
?: Someone with something to tell you, you ugly mug!
[the camera shows the chao: a Hero chao who looks an awful lot like Sonic (Speedy)]
Speedy: Listen up! I really don't see what Chao was thinking, but he told me to give you this.
[Speedy hands Shade a small postcard]
Shade: Um... all right.
Speedy: Open it, ya ding-dong!
[Shade opens it, and it talks about inviting him to a tea party in the Hero Garden]
Shade: A tea party? What the Dark Garden (chao word for "Hell") is he thinking!?
Speedy: I know, right?
[Shade slams the gate on Speedy]
Speedy: HEY! ....HEY!!! *grumble* Aw, who needs ya?
[Speedy runs back to whence he came]
Dark: What are you going to do, sir?
Shade: The same thing I do every night, Dark-- try to take over the Hero Garden!
Chorus: They're Dark-y and the Shade, yes, Dark-y and the Shade...
One of them's a genius,
The other's insane!
They're crazy, dumb Dark chao,
Their eggs have been spliced
They're bark-y,
They're Dark-y and The Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade

Before each day is done
Their patience will de-harden,
By the dawning of the sun
They'll take over the garden.

They're Dark-y and The Shade
Yes, Dark-y and The Shade
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain.
To prove their A-Life worth
They'll undo the Heroes' birth.
They're bark-y,
They're Dark-y and The Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Dark: Narf!
[by the time the song is done, Shade is wearing a Hero chao costume]
Shade: *gulp* I'm on my way.
[Shade steps outside of the Dark Garden]
Shade: Here I come, Chao.
[fade to black]
[the camera fades in, showing Shade stepping into the Hero Garden]
Shade: ...wait, what was I here for, again?
[he thinks for a moment]
Shade: Oh, yeah. I was invited to a tea party, decided not to go, then thought that Chao was up to something, so THAT'S why I'm wearing this girly disguise.
[a baby Hero chao (Knuckle) crawls up to Shade]
K: Hey.
Shade: Uh... 'sup?
K: What's your name?
Chapter 3: My Name Is Sonikku
K: Well?
Shade: Um... didn't you read the Chapter name?
K: No. I can't read.
S: Okay.... my name is Sonikku.
[the rest of the Heroes come up to him]
[from left-to-right, they all look like a baby Hero (Tail) (Hero) (Aqua)]
[Sha-- uh... Sonikku introduces himself to all three Heroes]
?: It's nice to meet your acquaintance, sir.
S: I know that voice...
[the camera rotates to show a Hero chao wearing a medal (Chao)]
Chao: Um... I'm sorry, but it seems that I forgot your name. What was it?
S: Uh... it's.... Sonikku.
Chao: I see. So, you wish to stay here, or are you simply visiting?
S: Well, I'll just... look around a tad, and if I like it, I'll stay.
Chao: Oh. Okay. ...oh, would you look at the time? Come, everyone! It's game time!
[all the Heroes gather around in a circle]
Chao: Sonikku, would you care to join us? Tonight's game is "Truth or Dare!"
S: Well, I don't wanna impose...
Chao: Nonsense! Come, sit in the circle!
[Sonikku sits on the light-green grass, and finds it to be rather soft]
Tail: Me first! Me first!
Chao: All right, Tail. Whom would you like to ask?
Tail: Um... Knuckle!
K: ...crap. Okay, uh... Truth.
Tail: Knuckle, do you think Sonikku is cool?
K: Aw, geez.... sort of?
[everyone claps]
S: (thinking) Great... this is gonna be one of those never-ending baby games, where nothing happens, and I get bored, and--
Chao: Sonikku!
S: I'm awake! What? What?
[everyone laughs]
Chao: Sonikku, pick either truth or dare!
S: All right, I choose dare. I'm up for a challenge.
Chao: Oh, you ARE, are you? Are you "up" for a swimming race?
S: Swimming? Of course! Any time, anywhere!
Chao: Okay, but I must warn you... I am the second-best swimmer on the Chao World! Next to this guy whom you wouldn't know.
S: I wouldn't? What's his name?
Chao: His name's Shade.
S: Oh. Uh... yeah, you're, uh... right. I don't know him.
[the two line up by the pool]
Speedy: All right, you two, listen up! First one to reach the fountain and back wins! Ready!
[the camera zooms in on Chao]
Speedy: Set!
[on Sonikku]
Speedy: GO!
[Aand they're off! Chao is off to an early lead and is halfway across the pool but WATCH OUT-- Sonikku is following by a nose!]
[Sonikku just got to the fountain, and is swimming the second half now, and Chao is left in the dust!]
[he's gonna make it...]
[he's almost there...]
[everyone cheers]
S: Thank you! Thank you! Yes, I'm the greatest!
Chao: Hold on, everyone! I have one last Truth for Sonikku.
[everything goes quiet]
Chapter 4: An Inconvenient Truth
Chao: Sonikku. Only one chao on the entire planet is a better swimmer than I.
S: S..so?
Chao: Are you REALLY this "Sonikku" character, as you say you are? Or are you my rival, Shade?
S: What do you mean? I'm Sonikku!
S: ......
[Sonikku takes off his halo, and his wings]
Shade: ALL RIGHT, IT'S ME! SHADE, THE GREAT! Hold your applause and gasps for later.
Chao: Shade... why didn't you come for the tea?
Shade: I thought it was a trap, so I came disguised.
[Chao steps closer to Shade, and whispers something to him]
Chao: (whispering) The whole reason I called you here was for some negotiations. Please, come with me to my office.
Shade: Okay. All of you Heroes, divert your eyes elsewhere! Chao and I must discuss some fecal matters.
Chao: You don't even know what that means, do you?
Shade: ...it was inappropriate, wasn't it?
Chao: Extremely. Just come.
[cut to behind the fountain (Chao's office)]
Shade: So, what you are saying is that there are after effects to my actions?
Chao: Quite. You shouldn't have released those soldiers, Shade.
Shade: But... Quartz was annoying.
Chao: All right, I agree with you there. But, the others were invaluable! I was willing to pay great amounts for them!
Shade: Wait a moment... I didn't release them; I sent them on a mission, and they never returned!
Chao: That's what I meant. Didn't you know of the portal storms?
Shade: I don't even know what those are NOW!
Chao: Well, it is best that you don't. All you should know is that they can make things... drift.
Shade: Drift?
Chao: Yes. Once more, it is best you know NOT.
Shade: Hang on... you KNEW about the portal storms? You could've warned me!
Chao: Ah, yes, but I--
Shade: You thoughtless little FREAK!
[Shade shoves Chao through the waterfall]
Chao: ...let's take this outside.
[out in the Chao Lobby, Shade and Chao square off]
[everything's dramatic]
[suddenly, Shade dives for Chao, and the match begins!]
[they fight using Chao Karate moves]
[the battle rages on until suddenly, a Neutral chao steps out (Cham)]
Cham: What's going on out here?
[Cham gets killed during the battle]
Cham: UGH! AHHHH!!
[the two stop]
Chao: What the? CHAM!
[they mourn over him]
Shade: Chao... why were we fighting?
Chao: You got angry at me.
Shade: Still, we shouldn't have fought... we just ended a poor chao's life...
[they stand up]
Shade: This fight? Never happened.
Chao: Cham died of old age.
Shade: A little make-up can cover up the wounds.
Chao: Our reputations are saved.
[Shade returns to the Dark Garden, only to find an egg]
Shade: What the!?
Dark: Oh, Shade, you're back! While you were gone, we got a newcomer! I was thinking of naming him after you.
Shade: "Shade Junior".... has a nice ring to it. I wonder what he's thinking right now...
Dark: Probably something diabolical, like you.
SJR: (Uh-oh, I wet myself...)

Dark Chao Adventures was created in loving memory of all my chao, who appear in this script.

Pinky and the Brain belong to Stephen Spielberg.

Chao belong to SEGA and Sonic Team.

No A-Life creatures were harmed during the making of this script.
...but the very fact of their harm BEFORE is the very reason this was made.

Remember, kids-- G.I. Joe doesn't encourage harming your chao! Treat them with love, compassion, and kindness!
Joe: And knowing is half the battle!