Surrosion

Somebody new has arrived in the fan scene. A certain "solarchao" has finally given me what I've wanted all this time: FEEDBACK. Thank you. So, here's Episode 50.... "Surrosion."


Last time on DCA...
JOE: Good day. I'm JOE. Beta Avenger.
[clips of the previous episode are shown]
JOE: My real name... is Therjak. Not really.
[more clips]
JOE: I'm really a Dalek. Not really.
[moar clipz]
JOE: I am actually... Cham. That's right, CHAM. The last living first-party Neutral chao.
[*sigh* more clips]
JOE: I was killed around the start of this show by the lead characters, Shade and Chao.
[A BANANNA]
JOE: Pure accident, of course. Still, I hated them. I was magically revived, and long story short, I now have to kill them.
[clips of the respective episodes]
JOE: Also, the MILKMAN, mysterious being extoradinaire, is Shade's father, Shawn. Whoo, shocker.
[dramatic shots of the previous showdown]
JOE: Last time I checked, it's just me versus Shade, Shawn, Shade's son, and a traitor of the Beta Avengers.
[3, 2, 1... Are you Ready to Go?]

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season 6: The Gray Journey

Episode 50: Shade's End part three: Surrosion

[the story resumes on the surface of the planet Norion from Metroid Prime 3]
[Cham is firing a rocket launcher rocket right at Shade; Shawn, Shade Junior, and Echo are unconscious]
Chapter 1: Super Shade
Cham: Goodbye.
[BOOM!]
[the rocket blows Shade up]
Cham: *evil laughter* Finally!
[all that's left are Shade's feet, which land on the ground like cardboard]
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Heh.
Cham: What the... bu-hu-du-ku-WHAAAAT!?
Shade: Decoys, Cham! DECOYS!
Cham: But... how did you....? I mean...? The cake's in the fridge...?
Shade: It's like in the cartoons, Cham. A cardboard version of me. NOW who's the evil one?!
Cham: *reloads* I see.
[Shade runs up and smacks Cham in the face]
Cham: AH! Ow... *inhale* ya didn't have to do that...
Shade: Yeah, I did. You were gonna KILL me!
Cham: Yeah, well... all you had to do was ask.
Shade: Right.
[they get into a slap fight]
[Shade runs away]
[he just keeps on running]
[he suddenly remembers the others]
Shade: Aw, crap.
[he notices Cham trying to kill them]
Shade: NO! *dashes after them*
Cham: Oh, you're back? I thought you were just gonna run away for mommy, like your father did.
Shade: ...no, I was runnin' away from YO MOMMY, dude!
Cham: Oh, you're gonna pay for that!
[Shade knocks Cham out somehow, and somehow drags ALL of the others away]
[eventually, he makes it to the escape pods, but a Dalek (Dahh-lek) is there (a robot with an eyestalk, wheels, a gun, and a plunger)]
Dalek: HALT! YOU ARE SHADE, COR-RECT?
Shade: Um... cor-rect.
Dalek: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE BO-DIES?
Shade: Uh... prisoner transfer, from prison block 1128. You think you could get 'em a room by the pool?
Dalek: HA HA. IS FUNNY BECAUSE YOU IS PRISONER, AND THERE IS NO POOL, BECAUSE IS NORION.
[Shade shoots the Dalek, and it blows up]
[Shade then enters the escape pod, and flies away somehow into space]
[however, a second escape pod is close behind]
Shade: *sigh* What am I supposed to do with an unconscious father, son, and cool-looking enemy?
[Echo wakes up]
Echo: What... what? *hops up* Where's Cham?! Lemme at him! RAWR!
Shade: Relax, Echo. I managed to escape with you three before he did any real damage.
Echo: Oh. Aw... I wanted to kick his butt summin' good, too.
[Echo sits down]
Echo: So, where are we going?
Shade: I don't know...
Echo: Well, where d'ya WANNA go?
[Shade touches the window longingly]
Shade: Home...
Echo: Well then, let's GO home!
Shade: It's not that easy, Echo. You burned it down, remember?
Echo: I did? ....oh, THAT place. Well, didn't the flames die down, and make it habitable again?
Shade: I suppose, but...
Echo: So, let's go! Now, how do you pilot this thing?
Shade: Look, Echo... Cham will find us. He'll probably kill us, too.
Echo: Relax, bud. We'll find something, trust me.
Shade: ...okay.
[so, they fly to the Chao Lobby (which is in space, in case you haven't realized)]
Chapter 2: Chao Ruins
[by the time they get there, Junior and Shawn have woken up]
[oh, and Shade and Echo explained the situation]
SJR: So, are we going to the Hero Garden, then?
Shade: Probably. I mean, we could-- ...wait a minute.
[Shade notices a red glow coming from down the stairs]
[he runs down, and notices the Dark Garden in flames. ...again]
Shade: WHAT THE CRAP, MAN!? ECHO!
Echo: I didn't do it, I swear!
Shade: Hold on. This fire... the Dark Garden... it looks familiar.
Shawn: Familiar? How?
SJR: You sure you don't mean from when the Beaten Graves bombed it?
Shade: No... further back than that. It looks like...
?: The future.
[everyone turns around, and sees ANOTHER Shade]
ShadeFuture: It looks like it did when you took the time machine to the future, and again on Halloween.
Shade: Yeah. What's going on? Are you telling me... that Metal Sonic was LYING about his evil plan way back?
ShadeF: I'm afraid so. He lied... to protect you.
SJR: Wait, wait, WAIT. I read that episode, and... this screws up the ENTIRE timeline, I think!
Shawn: Which is exactly what Cham wants.
Shade: Man, I wish you two weren't so full of mystery! That's the problem; we don't know what's going on anymore!
Shawn: I've already told you, Shade. Cham wants these plot holes... so he can rewrite the story.
Echo: You never told us THAT.
Shawn: I didn't? Oh. Well, let me clear some space.

Cham, too, was forgotten. Obviously. So, he may not be a beta, but he has been disguised as-- Wait a minute. Something's not right here. If Cham was dead when those Betas happened.... I mean, we had all four people. Echo couldn't have disguised himself as JOE, AND been himself. Cham isn't telling us something.

ShadeF: And neither am I.
Shawn: What?
ShadeF: Allow me to join in the "clearing of space."

Why am I here right now? Obviously, you're in the future. But, if you were truly in the future, I wouldn't be here. I'd be in MY future. You know what I mean. So, quite obviously, Cham has sent you in the future somehow.

ShadeF: And that thing about Metal Sonic lying? ..I was just messing with you.
Shade: Uh... okay. So, we're in the future, and there really ARE two JOEs.
Shawn: And I get the feeling Cham knows about this.
Shade: But, how far into the future ARE we? That's something I've been wanting to know for a while. ...and why is it always horrible?
ShadeF: You're about... ten years up, I think.
Echo: Ten years? Ooh, can I meet my future self?
ShadeF: I'm afraid, by now, I'm the only one left.
Shade: What happened, anyway? I mean, after Metal Sonic was defeated, and after "Morph" was headcrab'd?
ShadeF: I'll explain.

After you defeated Mephiles, the headcrabs miraculously disappeared. The flames died out, and I started relaxing. I shouldn't have. My next enemy was just around the corner. So, ready or not, here he came, it was--

[GUNSHOT! Shade (Future) fell to the ground, dead]
[the chao look around, frantically, for the assasin, but find no one]
Shade: Damn, I hope I don't die like that.
Echo: You probably will, I mean, he IS you.
Shade: I wanna change this timeline, Echo. For the better.
Echo: Cheesy, but I agree. Something about this place just... rubs me the wrong way.
[a faint scream is heard]
Shade: That sounded like... the Hero Garden!
[Shade runs up the stairs]
Shawn: Hold on, Shade! *follows*
SJR: .....wanna check the Neutral Garden?
Echo: Sure.
Chapter 3: Explorers Galore
[in the Hero Garden, Shade and Shawn find Chao]
Chao: Oh! Shade...? And... who are you?
Shawn: Long story short, I'm his father.
Shade: Chao, what happened? Didn't you die in the musical episode?
Chao: Yeah, but... I recently woke up here. It's weird.
Shade: ...THAT'S why you screamed?
Chao: Yeah.
Shade: *sigh*
Chao: So... did you kill the MILKMAN yet?
Shawn: *ahem*
Chao: YOU killed him?
Shawn: What? No, I AM the MILKMAN!
Chao: No way!
[another scream is heard]
Shade: That one sounded like... Junior!
[the three run to the Neutral Garden]
[there, they see Echo and Shade Junior surrounded by Daleks]
Shade: Of course! I should have known!
Shawn: Um... Shade, I think there's STILL something off about this whole thing.
Shade: Really?
Shawn: Yeah. I mean, the future you was shot by a GUN. Not a Dalek gun. A REAL gun. The gunshot proved that.
[the Daleks turned to face them]
Dalek: THE GRAY ONE HAS ARRIVED.
Dalek2: GET HIM.
[the Daleks grab Shade, and take him to CPAK (Chao Pre-School And Kindergarten)]
[cut to a dark room; Shade is sitting in a chair, surrounded by Daleks]
Dalek: GRAY ONE.
Shade: Um... yes?
Dalek: WE UNDERSTAND YOU ARE DESTINED TO BE SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE.
Shade: ....what?
Dalek: SORRY. WRONG SCRIPT. GRAY ONE. WE UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NEARING THE END OF YOUR JOURNEY.
Shade: You mean... I'm gonna die?
Dalek: NO. WE MEAN, YOU ARE NEARING THE END OF YOUR JOURNEY.
Shade: Oh, my GRAY Journey. Right.
Dalek: THIS MEANS YOU ARE READY TO DEFEAT CHAM.
Shade: I... I am?
Dalek2: YES. VERY READY.
Shade: But... Cham is JOE! He's... he's the evil mastermind!
Dalek: CHAM IS NOT JOE. JOE IS....
Shade: ...yes? JOE is?
Dalek: I am not at liberty to say.
Shade: What the fray? ...wait, what?
[the first Dalek's head pops off, and out comes the future Shade]
Shade: Okay, NOW you're just being silly.
ShadeF: Allow me to explain.
Shade: No. NO! All right? NO MORE EXPLANATIONS! Just give me the ****ing SUMMARY for once! Sheesh!
ShadeF: ...*grin* Okay. I'll give you the summary. That first me was fake. I shot him. Okay?
Shade: Okay. But, who was he?
ShadeF: ...I'm not quite sure, really.
Shade: Wait, wait, wait. You don't know... yet you killed him?
ShadeF: Well, I DO, but I can't say it--
Shade: One more thing, NO MORE SECRETS! This is supposed to be the episode of CLOSURE!
ShadeF: HE'S JOE! OKAY?! He was JOE. I killed him. JOE was Tint. The weird clone of you.
Shade: But... Tint didn't exist back in the betas.
ShadeF: Just 'cause he didn't exist doesn't mean he couldn't be JOE.
Chapter 4: Closure
ShadeF: I'll give you ALL the closure you need, Shade. All the information I know, anyway.

First came Metal Sonic and his army of Instabilities, or whatever. Then, Mephiles and his headcrabs. Next was an army of Coca-Cola bottles. That's right. Coca-Cola bottles. They were very deadly... and tried to drown me. I managed to fight back, but they set the entire garden on fire. ...again. After I defeated them, you showed up. Obviously, Cham is the next challenge in my never ending Gray Journey...

Shade: Wait. "Never ending Gray Journey?"
ShadeF: That's right.

The Gray Journey isn't just a name. It's a series of challenges, and they all end when Cham is defeated. The Daleks told me all about it. Think of them as the Vortigaunts of DCA. Anyway, for me, the Journey didn't end. I didn't defeat Cham. He sent me to this hellhole. He managed to trash the Chao World Exit, and put some kinda time bubble of sorts around it. Sci-Fi stuff.

Now, how did he do this when he wasn't even ALIVE until Season 3, and you went to the future in Season 2? Obviously, you were sent to the future, so... I dunno. Try to fill in the blanks yourself, will you?

Shade: I think it all makes sense now.... I think.
Dalek2: SO, GRAY ONE. ARE YOU READY TO DEFEAT CHAM?
Shade: ...yes. Yes, I am.
[ShadeF turns on the lights, revealing that they're in Room 123 (Mister Prower's room)]
[Shade leaves CPAK, and stops in the lobby]
Shade: Wait. How am I supposed to get to Cham?
ShadeF: That's easy. .......wait, you've got a point.
Shade: And then, how am I supposed to FIND him?
ShadeF: Uh.... good luck with that one.
Dalek2: I BELIEVE WE MAY BE ABLE TO HELP WITH GETTING OUT.
Shade: Sweet.
Dalek2: HOWEVER, ONLY ONE MAY EXIT AT A TIME.
Shade: Oh. ...okay.
[WARP! Shade is warped to the present-day Chao Lobby somehow]
Shade: Okay, now to find Cham.
[cut to the future CPAK; Future Shade is quietly sitting in the Principal's Office]
[the school's front door is heard opening]
ShadeF: Hello?
[footsteps]
ShadeF: Who's there?
[the Principal's Office door opens]
ShadeF: Hey! Who's there?
?: Hello, Shade of the future.
ShadeF: *gasp* You!
?: How are you enjoying your Gray Journey?
[the figure steps into the light, and reveals... he's Cham]
ShadeF: What are you doing here?
Cham: You said your Gray Journey will end when I die. I see. Well, I wouldn't want THAT to happen, now would I?
ShadeF: Get away! I don't want any trouble!
Cham: Too bad. 'Cause I... DO!
[cut to the present-day Chao Lobby; CPAK has been de-converted from the nuclear storage facility]
[the Dark Garden is still normal, with lots of ashes]
[the Hero Garden is normal with ashes, as is the Neutral Garden]
Shade: So, where to search first?
[he searches every nook and cranny, but finds no one]
[so, he decides to enter the Chao World Exit, and search Earth]
Chapter 5: Road Trip!
Shade: Hmm, where could Cham be?
[cut to Future Neutral Garden; Echo is sitting on the "hill," looking out at the sky]
Echo: I never realized how artistic this skybox is.
[meanwhile, Shawn and Shade Junior are screaming for help behind the waterfall, as Cham approaches them]
[Echo hears a bit of their screaming before it stops]
Echo: What the? Who's there?
[silence]
Echo: ..whatever. I'll just, uh... go back to watching this, erm......skybox.
[while he's sitting there, a voice is heard whispering]
?: Alone on a silent hill?
Echo: Why, yes, actually, I--wait a minute. Who is that?
[silence]
Echo: Very funny.
?: Psst. I have a secret to tell you.
Echo: Secret? Where?
?: .......it's me, Cham.
[Cham walks out from behind the waterfall, and charges at him]
[cut to Shade in the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square, drinking a soda at the bar]
[the bartender sees him]
Bartender: Hey. Why the long face?
Shade: Some jerk killed all my friends, sent me to hell, and ran off.
Bar: Oh. ...sucks.
Shade: Yeah. Worst part is, this jerk is my dead friend. He somehow came back to life one day, and just...
Bar: Ah, I see.
Shade: Tell me, where would a jerk run off to?
Bar: .......Mexico.
Shade: Really?
Bar: Yeah.
Shade: You positive?
Bar: Yep.
[the camera turns to behind the bar, showing that the bartender is a chao on stilts and in a mask]
Shade: Well, I'd better start driving. How far is Mexico from Station Square?
Bar: About........ a few light years.
Shade: I meant if I followed the roads.
Bar: Five hours, tops.
Shade: Thanks!
[Shade runs out of the bar, and the camera cuts to Shade on an American highway, traveling south in a banshee]
Shade: Hmm... what's on the radio?
[bzzzrt]
MetalSonic: ...and he chucked it RIGHT into my face. It hurt.
[laughter is heard]
MS: Alright, you are listening to 200.1 FM, Chao Chat, and this is the Poker Tourney '08. It's Thursday, at 8:30 PM.
MechaKnuckles: I'm winning!
MS: Shut up! *snicker* Yeah, the scores are... Mecha's leading, I'm in second, the Tails Doll is third, and Invader Zim is fourth.
Zim: I AM ZIM!
TailsDoll: I swear, if you take your pants off again, I'm gonna.... I'm just gonna give you a Tails Doll curse.
MS: You folks better be glad this isn't on TV. Otherwise... cops'd bust us out first thing.
[cards are heard shuffling]
MK: Okay, boys.... the name of the game is poker.
TD: We know.
MS: Idiot. I mean, this IS the Poker Tourney.
Shade: *chuckle* Those guys are pretty stupid.
[a phone rings]
MS: Shh! SHHH! Quiet, QUIET! *picks up* Hello?
Caller: Yes, hello, *snicker* is this... is this Metal Sonic?
MS: Yep.
Caller: Initials "MS?"
MS: Exactly.
Caller: Um... what if I called you, "Pwnage Metal Sonic?"
MS: Hmm... I like that name. Okay, EVERYONE! THAT IS MY NEW NAME! PWNAGE METAL SONIC!
Caller: *laughter* Oh, dude, you are so... so whacked.
MS: Somebody's gonna GET whacked if they don't tell me what's so funny.
Caller: Those initials... are "PMS."
[the other three poker players start laughing]
MS: Oh, very funny. Now shut up.
[Shade starts laughing, and decides to turn the radio off]
Shade: So, let's see.... Mexico.... Mexico.... ah, exit 40!
[Shade pulls onto another road, and turns on the radio again]
[BZZZZRT]
TD: Hey, you're listening to Chao Chat, 200.1 FM. I'm the Tails Doll, and we're in the Poker Tourney '08.
MK: Hey, whaddya guys say I play some music? This place is boring.
MS: Sure.
TD: Why not.
Zim: I AM ZIM!
[Mecha Knuckles turns on the stereo, and playing is Jaret Reddick's "Endless Possibility," from Sonic Unleashed]
MS: Yes!
TD: ALL RIGHT!
MK: This song ROCKS!
Zim: I AM ZIM!
[they all sing along while playing poker, and Shade sings along, too]
MS: This is my escape, I'm running through this world and I'm not looking back.
MK: And I know I can go where no one's ever gone and I'm not looking back.
MS: But how will I know when I get there....and how will I know when to leave?
TD: We've all gotta start from somewhere, It's right there for me, the possibilities are never ending.

All: I see it, I see it, and now it's all within my reach!
MK: Endless possibility!
All: I see it, I see it now, it's always been inside of me!
MK: And now I feel so free!
All: Endless possibility!

[the next verse is a rap]
MS: You're losing speed!
MK: You're losing your flow!
MS+MK: But inside is a power you'll never know!
MS: Runnin' out!
MK: It's inside you!
MS+MK: You'd better all step back 'cause I'm comin' through!

*instrumental*

All: I see it, I see it, and now it's all within my reach!
MK: Endless possibility!
All: I see it, I see it now, it's always been inside of me!
MK: And now I feel so free!
All: Endless possibility!
MS: Endless possibility!
MK: Endless possibility!
TD: Endless possibility!
All: Endless possibility!
[right at the end, Zim shouts "I AM ZIM!" and Metal Sonic says, "Shut the **** up, man."]
[Shade turns the radio off, and a hitchhiker gets him to stop]
Shade: Hey, bud. Where ya goin'?
Hitch: Uh...... I'm going......... GET OUTTA THE ****ING CAR, MAN.
Shade: Huh?
[the hitchhiker pulls out a gun, and points it at him]
Hitch: Get. Out.
Shade: Yes, sir!
[Shade exits the car, and the hitchhiker takes it, and drives away]
[Shade stares in the direction the car went for a few seconds, and then sits down]
Shade: Well, so much for that. ....oh, it's useless.... I'm all alone out here! What was I thinking?
[suddenly, Shade notices a sign that reads, "Mexico border- 1 mile," and cheers up]
Shade: I was thinking GOOD!
[he runs in the direction of the sign]
[eventually, he makes it to Mexico]
Chapter 6: Livin' La Vida Loco
[cut to Shade in a random rural village; he finds an abandoned house, and takes it]
Shade: Okay, so... I guess I'll stay here until I beat Cham. After that.... it's a little fuzzy. I'll think it over as I stand here, talking to myself.
[Shade thinks it over]
Shade: I suppose I'll just go back to the Dark Garden. Yeah. Now, where to find Cham?
[he notices Cham walking to a town market]
Shade: Man, I'm good. Okay, Cham... time to say 'goodbye.'
Cham: Hello, Shade!
Shade: Uh.... hey. ...been here long?
Cham: Me? Oh, yeah.
Shade: So........... I'm gonna kill you now.
Cham: Huh? Why?
Shade: Sorta 'cause you've been behind the plan that destroyed my home, and tried to kill me on multiple occasions.
Cham: Seriously. Why?
Shade: ...........(Damn, I can't think of anything!)
Cham: With no real reason to kill me, I'm afraid you'll have to wait. Now, if you'll excuse me... I have some papayas to buy.
[Cham walks away, but Shade grabs his shoulder]
Shade: You killed them....... didn't you?
Cham: Killed WHO..... Shade? Do you mean..... "daddy?" "Son?" "Bird-boy?"
Shade: You.... no way. You couldn't have...
Cham: (deviously) I don't know what you're talking about.
Shade: I can't believe it...
Cham: Oh, and.... I know when you're going to die, Shade. It's not today.
Shade: ......you killed future me? What the HELL, man? What the HELL?
Cham: What are you getting at now, Shade?
Shade: Cham... I now have a reason to kill you.
Cham: Do tell.
Shade: You killed Shawn, Shade Junior, Echo, and future me!
Cham: You can't PROVE that.
Shade: No, you're right... but, I know someone who CAN.
Cham: Who?
Shade: Cham, I am pressing charges against you.
Cham: Rather odd for someone as reputable as you.
Shade: I did some thinking, Cham. And I realized... you directed me here. So I would kill you. And people would know. And stuff.
Cham: Say what? Absurd.
Shade: In any case, I'm going to my attorney.
Cham: Not if I get to him first.
[Cham runs off in the direction of San Francisco]
Shade: NO!
[Shade runs off in the same direction]
[BGM: Radical Train ~The Chase~, from Sonic the Hedgehog]
[cut to Shade and Cham running through a Mexican market]
[Cham pushes some fruit carts over, which Shade cautiously dodges]
[Shade jumps across people's heads and catches up with Cham]
[Cham jumps onto a random mule, and rides it]
[of course, mules aren't too fast, so Shade gets a good lead]
[Cham hops off his mule, and starts running]
[they take to some rooftops]
[Shade knocks some random garbage cans over, and Cham trips]
[Shade runs into a wall, giving Cham the lead]
[they run onto the highway]
[they swerve past cars]
[Shade hops onto a car going forward, as does Cham]
[Cham had grabbed some rocks, and throws them at Shade]
[Shade dodges most of the rocks, but one hits him, and he falls; Shade grabs onto the bottom of the car]
[Cham hopped onto Shade's car, and prepares to finish him off]
[Shade quickly hops onto another car, and watches as Cham's car goes onto another highway. ....to New York]
[Shade makes it to San Francisco]
[end BGM]
[Shade goes to 2006360 Parkville Place, and knocks on the door]
[a gray hedgehog opens the door]
?: Who knocks on the garden's gate?
Shade: One who has eaten the fruit, and tasted its mysteries.
?: ....come in.
[the hedgehog lets Shade in]
Shade: Hey, Silver.
Silver: 'Sup, Shade? Life treating ya well?
Shade: Hardly. I can't even get a moment's peace without some enemy from the past coming back and screwing everything up!
Silver: So, what'dja come for?
Shade: Someone is trying to kill me.
Silver: ...are they suing you?
Shade: .........damn, I completely forgot about that.
Silver: About what?
Shade: I can't beat him in court unless HE sues ME!
Silver: Or if you get a good prosecutor, which I'm NOT. I'm a defense attorney.
Shade: Aw, jeez...
Silver: Hang on. I remember something from the Ace Attorney series. If he's involved in ANOTHER case, like a witness, or a friend of the accused, or something...
Shade: ...we can drag him into court and get him held for THESE charges!
Both: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! *high-5*
[a pink cat walks in]
Blaze: Silver, I told you not to ever say that again.
Silver: Sorry.
Blaze: Also, there's something interesting in the mail.
Silver: Really?
Blaze: Yeah. Apparently, some guy named "Cham" is suing your pal for threatening to kill him.
Shade: WHAT?! More like the other way around!
Silver: Shade, you should be more focused on the fact we got the job you needed.
Shade: Oh, yeah.
[dramatic camera angles directed at Shade]
Shade: Finally, Cham and I can settle this.... IN COURT!
Chapter 7: Silver the Hedgehog: Ace Attorney, "Turnabout Betas"
"August 19, 2008
District Court
Courtroom No.32"
[the jury is chattering for a little bit]
[Silver is in the defense bench, and Shade is his partner]
[the prosecution bench is currently empty]
[in the judge's chair.... is Bowser, king of the koopas]
[Bowser bangs his gavel]
Bowser: Okay, okay! Court is now in session, so SHADDUP!
[the jury goes quiet]
Bowser: Today, we have an odd crime. Apparently, Shade the Dark has been charged for attempted murder of the nth degree.
[Bowser looks around the room nervously]
Silver: Is there something wrong, your honor?
Bowser: Sort of. I mean.... where's the prosecution?
?: Excuse me, your honor?
[Cham appears in the witness' stand]
Cham: About the prosecution...
Bowser: Yeah?
Cham: Miles "Tails" Prower was unable to make it today. However, I have hired the greatest prosecutor on the planet to fight against Mister Silver.
Bowser: That's great! I love seeing the grayhog in his little arguments! He's so stupid, it's funny!
Silver: Um... thanks?
Cham: In fact, here he comes, now.
?: I'm quite sorry I'm late, your honor. My luggage was lost on the pavement on the way here.
[everyone gasps, except Cham]
Silver+Shade: You have GOT to be kidding me.
[it's Professor Layton!]
Layton: So then, where were we?
Bowser: Um... and, uh... what makes you qualified to be a prosecutor?
Layton: Quite simple, really, my boy. I look at each case like a puzzle, and the answer comes soon thereafter.
?: Butt out, Prof! Go back to your puzzle games. Leave this case to the professionals, like ME!
Cham: Ah, here he is. Fang the Sniper.
[Fang the Sniper, a purple weasel (in case you haven't played Sonic Triple Trouble or The Fighters), pushes Layton out of the way]
Fang: Let's get this party started!
Bowser: So, um............. what profession are you, again?
Fang: A sniper. ...but, my dayjob is working at an EBGames.
Bowser: Sure. Why not? Stranger things HAVE happened in this courtroom...
Fang: That's right. Now, let's know the details.
Bowser: See, that's the thing... I don't even KNOW the ****ing details. Cham here didn't even tell me!
Cham: The details, your honor... this is not the trial of attempted murder.
Bowser: It's not?
Cham: No. This is.... well, I believe Shade can answer that.
Shade: Cham...
[Shade stands tall]
Shade: This trial is actually to prove that CHAM has attempted to murder ME.
[the jury starts chatting; Bowser bangs his gavel]
Bowser: ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!
[the jury shuts up]
Bowser: Mister Sniper! Is this true?
Fang: What? Oh, that. Yeah, it's true. These two just wanted to settle this with that hedgehog dude as defense, and stuff.
Bowser: Hmm... I think I see what's going on. Okay! I have decided... this trial will be severely ****ed up.
Shade: Agreed.
Cham: Agreed.
Silver: Agreed.
Fang: Seconded.
Bowser: Very well. Mister Shade, since you seem to be "in the know," as the youngsters say...
All: We don't say that.
Bowser: Shut up! Shade, you will tell us where this crazy trial will begin.
Shade: Yes, your honor. I say we begin this with a simple testimony... from Cham.
["HOLD IT!!!" is seen on-screen as Fang shouts it.... well, he actually shouts "HOLD YER HORSES," but still]
Fang: My main man, Cham? You kiddin' me? This whole trial's a mess already, why d'ya want more?
Bowser: I'm sorry, Mister Sniper, but Shade called it. Cham, you're up.

Cham's Testimony (Witness' Account)
I don't know what Shade's trying to pull, your honor. All I did was talk to his dad, and his son, and my old friend. He thinks I killed them? Pfft. And this whole "attempted murder" thing? Bogus, man. Bogus.

Bowser: .....Silver, you may now begin the cross-examination.
Silver: Wha? Me?
Bowser: You ARE the defense attorney, aren't you?
Silver: ...yes, your honor.

Cross Examination (Witness' Account)
Words in parenthesis are the testimony.

(I don't know what Shade's trying to pull, your honor.)
["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it]
Silver: Really?
Cham: Yep.
Silver: Well, I think you DO know!
Cham: ......whatever. May I continue?
Silver: ................okay.

(All I did was talk to his dad, and his son, and my old friend.)
["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it]
Silver: What did you say to them?
Cham: I simply talked about how Shade's been acting awfully strange lately.
Shade: Yeah, right!
[Silver holds Shade back]
Silver: And what did they say?
Cham: Huh?
Silver: Shade's father, son, and the old friend. What did they say?
Cham: Uh................ they said they agree with me.
Shade: Damn, and you almost had him.
Silver: I know...

(He thinks I killed them? Pfft.)
["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it]
Silver: *grin* And that's where your lies come to an end, Cham.
Cham: What are you talking about?
Silver: We never said anything about you killing them. We said you attempted to murder Shade.
Cham: Eah!
["OBJECTION!!!" appears on-screen as Fang shouts it]
Fang: My pal here is OBVIOUSLY confused.
["OBJECTION!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it, although he actually shouted, "RIGHT BACK ATCHA!!!"]
Silver: He hired YOU to prosecute him. ....he MUST be confused. I agree.
Fang: .....urk.
Silver: Oh, and he's SO confused, he sued my client?
Fang: ................shut up.
Silver: I say Cham not just attempted to murder my client... HE MURDERED THESE THREE PEOPLE!
[the jury starts chatting; Bowser bangs his gavel to shut them up]
Bowser: Hot DAMN, man! That's some accusation you got there!
Shade: It's not just an accusation! Cham even TOLD me he killed them!
Cham: ....
Bowser: Hey. Cham. What's up?
Cham: ........nice. So I DID kill them. So what?
Silver: "So what?" You just announced it in a public court, THAT'S what!
Cham: Need I remind you that's not what I'm on trial for?
Bowser: ...he's right. Cham's on trial for attempted murder. But, he will be trialed for this stuff at a later--
Cham: Shade, why are we doing all this legal crap?
Shade: ...?
Cham: Why don't you and I settle this... properly?
Bowser: What is he getting at?
Fang: Heh heh heh.... I believe my buddy here is hinting towards a good, ol' fashioned... duel.
Bowser: A...duel?
Fang: Yeah. Shade n' Cham, head to head. Mano e mano. Tete et tete. Nothin' but them. That's what he's gettin' at.
Bowser: Ah, how poetic!
Cham: Well, Shade? What do you say we settle this like chao?
Shade: ........okay.
Chapter 8: Duel at the Hard Rock Cafe
[cut to the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square]
[Cham and Shade are up on a stage in front of a live audience]
Cham: Alright, folks, here's how it's gonna go down. We're havin' ourselves a battle of the bands!
[the crowd cheers]
Cham: So, without further ado.... EAT THIS, SHADE!
[Cham begins playing a heavy metal tune, but then Shade smacks him in the head with his guitar]
Cham: AH! What'd you do THAT for?
Shade: This isn't how we should settle this!
Cham: You're right...
Shade: Now, let's settle this like REAL chao!
Chapter 8.5: Shade Versus Cham
[it's super dramatic]
[Shade is standing at one end of a large plain]
[Cham at the other]
[there's a sunset]
[each is wearing a cowboy hat, and is equipped with a gun]
[they're facing away from each other]
Shade: You ready?
Cham: Yeah.
Both: One.... two...
[Cham turns around]
Both: Three...
[Cham shoots Shade]
Cham: Draw.
Shade: ACK! Whoa! *falls over* Dude, you... you shot my........... my heart...
Cham: (imitating Bentley Jones) Open your heart, it'll be all right.
Shade: You...... so..n...... o..f..... ..a....... .......b.......i......*dies*
Cham: That's right, everyone. I won. Now, I'm the last living chao! I will rule the Chao Gardens.... muahahahahahahaHAHAHA!
DJ: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Cham: Heh. DJay, just... crawl back into your hole, where you belong.
[I highlight the entire season 6]
Cham: No way.
[I reach for the delete key]
Cham: Dude, what are you trying to pull? You can't! That's, like...a middle finger to the fans!
[I'm about to press it]
Cham: *sobs* NOOOO!!!
[I press it, and the whole Season 6 ceases to exist]


Epilogue

That's it, folks. Season 6? Done. Well, yeah, technically, they're back at the "bombed gardens" part, but... I'm gonna change the story this time. For the better. The Beta Avengers will just... die. Okay?

[Cham shoots my hands]
WHAT THE HELL?!
Cham: RETYPE THE SEASON.
What? No!
Cham: *points gun at my head* RETYPE IT!
Okay! Okay! We're cool, man. Everything's cool.
[so, Season 6 DID happen. Exactly as you read it. Except this time, we cut back to Shade and Cham at the duel]

Chapter 8.5: Shade Versus Cham
[it's super dramatic]
[Shade is standing at one end of a large plain]
[Cham at the other]
[there's a sunset]
[each is wearing a cowboy hat, and is equipped with a gun]
[they're facing away from each other]
Shade: You ready?
Cham: Yeah.
Both: One.... two...
[Cham turns around]
Both: Three...
[right when Cham shoots, Shade pulls out a copy of Thriller, and uses it to deflect the bullet]
Cham: Wha--?
Shade: You thought I didn't realize you'd cheat? Now, Cham, I'm gonna kill you, and revive my friends.
Cham: *laugh* Go ahead. Kill me.
Shade: In a moment.
Cham: ...what?
Shade: If I kill you NOW, when I revive everyone, you'll be back. So, I'll just... revive everyone first.
Cham: But....
[Shade puts the "Thriller" CD on the ground, and everyone is revived]
Cham: ....I see. Well, either way, you won't be able to defeat me! YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME!
Shade: Actually, Cham... I think I finally understand how to defeat you.
Cham: Wha-huh?
Shade: You're technically a Beta. You feed off of the plot holes and DJay's mess-ups. So, I'll just... piece those back together.
Cham: Heh. I'll just kill you before you get the chance!
Shade: Not this time, Cham. We're gonna truly settle this. In court. That way, if you kill me, it's jail for you.
Cham: .......and how do you expect to GET to court before I simply kill you?
Shade: I'll use some Beta powers one last time.
[Shade summons a Microsoft Notepad, or THIS one, and types in...]
[Shad nd Chm go to curt]
Chapter 9: Shade Takes the Cake.... TO COURT!
Bowser: ...how'd you get here so quick?
Shade: Don't ask. It's a long story. And, your honor, I request that I get one chance at putting the pieces of this puzzle together!
Fang: What puzzle?
Shade: The puzzle.... of this show.
Bowser: ...very well. YOU, ALONE, though. No help!
Shade: Hmmm... how am I going to do this? I'd better think deep for this one...
[Shade is somehow teleported to the rip in time and space beyond the planet of pure dooky]
Shade: What the?
[in front of him are the Followers of the Gray One (Daleks)]
Shade: Huh? But, who? How?
Dalek1: WE TELEPORTED YOU HERE.
Shade: But... how?
Dalek2: I RECCOMEND YOU REFRAIN FROM ASKING.
Shade: All right. So, what's going on?
Dalek1: WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU PUT THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE "SHOW" TOGETHER.
Shade: And... how?
Dalek2: COMPLICATED MIND MUMBO JUMBO.
Shade: I see. Well, let's do this!

Dalek1: FIRST QUESTION. SHADE JUNIOR IS YOUR SON. YET THE FEMALE SHADE CLAIMS SHE IS HIS BROTHER. AND YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE. IS THAT INCEST?
Shade: Hmm.... she is clearly mistaken. Perhaps she is a different, similar-looking Dark chao's brother.
Dalek2: NOT PERHAPS. EXACTLY. NEXT QUESTION.
Dalek1: WHEN YOU JOURNEYED TO CHAO TALK FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU ENTERED THE CITY HALL. QUARTZ CLAIMS HE LOST PHANTOM. YET PHANTOM CLAIMS DARK-HAWK LOST HIM. WHO IS CORRECT?
Shade: We all know Quartz is stupid. He was obviously continuing his lack of knowledge by losing memory and making false claims.
Dalek2: THE GRAY ONE KNOWS ALL! NEXT QUESTION.
Dalek1: WHEN YOU INFILTRATED CHAO PRE-SCHOOL AND KINDERGARTEN AS SOLID SHADE, CHAO TOOK YOUR CODEC AWAY. YET, WHEN YOU DECIDED TO CONFRONT THE MILKMAN RECENTLY, YOU STILL HAD YOUR CODEC, AND CONTACTED DARK! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?
Shade: *thinks* That, my friend, is the sorcery of behind-the-scenes scams. I managed to snatch my codec back later on.
Dalek2: PRAISE THE PEPPERS!
Dalek1: THAT IS ALL, GRAY ONE. TELL THOSE ANSWERS TO THE COURT, AND CHAM SHALL BE DEFEATED.
Shade: Sweet! Thanks!
Dalek1: AND ONE LAST THING. IN ORDER TO REALLY WIN, YOU MUST FIND OUT WHO JOE IS.
Shade: You mean it's not Tint?
Dalek1: GOOD LUCK.
[Shade is teleported back to court]

Bowser: Well, Shade? Do you have your answers?
Shade: Yes, your honor. Lemme just clear some space.

The female Shade is not Shade Junior's brother. She was mistaken. Thus, we are not commiting incest. Secondly, I shall now declare that Quartz is not only stupid, but his memory doesn't serve him well. Thus, he did not enter City Hall with Phantom. Next on the list, Chao took my codec, but I snatched it back. I also snatched a second pair, and gave it to Dark. Thus, we were able to contact each other later on.

Bowser: Hmmm.... very well done, Shade!
Silver: Great going, Shade! You did it!
Shade: ...not quite.
Cham: You're right, Shade. If you did it as you say you did, I would be magically defeated. But, I'm not. So, what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong, YOUR LOGIC is wrong!
Shade: No, Cham, it is not my logic that is wrong...... it is YOURS!
Cham: Wha...WHAAAAAT!!!???
Shade: I also figured something else out. Allow me to spill the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

You are not JOE. JOE was disguised as my future self. My future self said JOE was Tint, my clone opposite. However, there was something so desperately WRONG with that. Tint did not exist in the Betas! In fact, by now, there are only two possibilities of who JOE truly was.

My future self was lying. Yes. He was lying to hide JOE's true identity. JOE, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.... was CHAM! Before you speak, I would also like to say that YOU are not Cham. No. But, I'm getting to you.

Why future me killed Cham, I do not know. But... but, I will piece it together in the next few paragraphs.

Now, on to YOU. You, "Cham," you cannot BE Cham. Cham died as future me shot him. Cham started off evil, yes, and he attempted to kill me, indeed, but when he came to the future Gardens disguised as future me, he wrote his own will with that one.

You managed to find some way into those gardens. Perhaps Cham sent you there as punishment for letting my son go rather than die? Way back in our second journey to Chao Talk, that is. Anyway, I was curious as to why I hadn't seen you since... Season 5. I mean, I expected you to try and kill us.

No... no, my logic's slightly off. Cham DIDN'T send you there as punishment... he sent you there in wait. You would meet up with him there. However, since he died, you had a backup plan, didn't you? Your plan to disguise yourself as him, and finally get some credit around here.

You, sir, are the true evil mastermind behind all this! You are....

No. No, I won't reveal it yet. Right now, I'll piece together why future me hid Cham's identity. He assasinated him with a sniper rifle... then lied about who he was. This would mean that... if I knew he was Cham, I would relax. Of course! Future me knew you were here. He knew you were gonna try and kill me. But, he knew that if I knew Cham was dead, I'd think that's it. I'd relax. Then, you'd kill me. So, he lied... to protect me. Thank you, future me. May you rest in peace now.

And now, onto the subject of you.

Through heavy thinking, I can deduce that you, sir, are indeed a Beta Avenger. Not a Beaten Grave member, but a Beta Avenger. That's why the Daleks knew you would be defeated if I patched all the plot holes up. Because, in this show.... Betas live on plot holes. That's where you get your power.

One last thing. Since the MILKMAN is right here, and Echo is right here, and Cham and Tagliare are dead...

Wait a second. That would mean... YOU were the original JOE? No way! I mean, you helped Dark out way back in the betas... this can't be. But, it is.

You, sir....

are....

METAL SPEEDY!

["Cham" is staring in awe]
Cham: No.... no way....
Shade: I'm afraid ya wai, Metal Speedy.
Cham: This is... this is impossible! This is MADNESS!
Bowser: Madness? Sir Metal Speedy, this court has reached its verdict.
["Cham" looks around the room, nervously]
Bowser: YOU. ARE. GUILTY!
[Bowser bangs his gavel]
["Cham's" pupils shrink]
Cham: .................
Silver: Mister Metal Speedy?
Cham: ........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!?!?!? THIS! CAN'T! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
["Cham" falls to the floor; a robotic Sonic chao wearing a dark overcoat rises]
Chapter 10: Emotions n' Confessions
MetalSpeedy: Shade...... I never liked you. You always ruined my plans.
Shade: "Your" plans?
MSp: Yes. My plans. Shawn the moron didn't come up with those plans. It wasn't even Cham!
Shade: Let me guess. It was you?
MSp: Right. Cham was my partner ever since he was revived. I would come up with the plans, and he would put them in effect.
Shade: ...I see.
MSp: Way back, when I helped Dark... I wasn't a Beta Avenger then. It was AFTER that. When Dark got all the Chaos Emeralds, and just... left me.
Shade: You were mad at him, and decided to "help" my father start the robotic group?
MSp: They weren't even called "Beaten Graves" back then. None of us have any idea what Echo or Tagliare's REAL names even are!
Fang: Hmm... so, you started this little group as revenge against this ********* who just up and left back in the day?
MSp: YES! I've never... hated anyone so much. I even got Cham to hate Dark, hence why he told you his job was to kill him.
Fang: Buddy, what you don't understand is that revenge... is a dish best served cold. It doesn't work when ya got a heated hatred against some jerk.
Silver: *nods* Right. If you want revenge against someone, look towards your legal specialist for help.
Bowser: *nods* The cold, hard truth. While the law isn't perfect, its flaws are what help you win.
MSp: What do you mean? I thought the court system was flawless!
Shade: Then you need to brush up on your Ace Attorney, pal!
[everyone laughs]
Bowser: But seriously, you're going to jail for a couple years.
MSp: Aww...
Bowser: Case closed!
[Bowser bangs his gavel; everyone leaves]
"August 19, 2008
District Court
Defendant's Lobby No.32"
Silver: That was amazing, Shade!
Shade: Heh. Thanks.
?: SHADE!
Shade: Huh?
[all the chao are rushing in]
[Dark runs up to Shade and randomly hugs him]
Shade: Um... okay, you can stop now.
[Dark stops]
Dark: We saw the whole thing on Court TV! That... that was AWESOME! SO AWESOME!
Chao: Well, I gotta admit, that certainly was interesting.
Red: Great job out there, Shade, my man! *high-5*
Shade: Red! 'Sup?
Red: Thanks for reviving us. Being dead sucks.
Shade: Yeah, but listen... try not to die anymore, okay?
Chao: What do you mean?
Shade: If I have to revive anybody using Thriller, I'll revive Cham. And who knows WHAT'll happen then?
Red: Eh, don't worry 'bout it too much. Everybody's gonna dance tonight!
Shade: ...what?
Dark: GENESIS DANCE PARTY AT THE DARK GARDEN!
[everyone cheers and runs out the door except Shade and Silver]
Shade: Well, it looks like I gotta go. ...thanks for everything, Silver.
Silver: What did I do? YOU'RE the one who exposed Metal Speedy.
Shade: ...just...thanks.
[Shade leaves]
[cut to the Dark Garden]
[Shade walks in, and everything's... normal! No ashes, or anything]
Shade: What the?
Hero: We decided to clean everything up. As thanks.
Shade: All right, whatever, now let's get this party started!
[everyone cheers as Shade jumps into the air to Genesis music; the screen pauses with Shade in the air]
[fade to black]

Epilogue
[cut to the Dark Garden; the Darks are just... being Darks]
Shade (voice-over): So, that's my gray journey. In the end, I managed to end it, and foil Metal Speedy's plan.
[the camera pans over the Garden]
Shade (VO): Shawn's staying with us, of course, so that's great. Echo also decided to stick around. Everything turned out good--
WAIT A MINUTE, Shade!
Shade (VO): What? DJay?
There's one last plot hole left!
Shade (VO): Whoa, whoa, WHOA! WHAT?! We'd better fix this, and FAST!
[the camera stops panning over the Dark Garden; cut to the space/time rip beyond planet dooky]
[Shade and the Daleks are there]
Dalek1: A NEW CONTRADICTION HAS PRESENTED ITSELF.
Shade: Name it.
Dalek1: YOU USED THRILLER AFTER FUTURE SHADE KILLED CHAM.
Shade: Oh, I see what you're getting at.
?: SHADE!
[Shade turns around, and Cham is standing there]
Cham: Now I can kill you properly!
Shade: Cham, listen... Metal Speedy's in jail.
Cham: ....what?
Shade: He was arrested.
Cham: R..really? He WAS?
Shade: Yeah. You probably won't ever see him again.
Cham: .......oh. ....finally, I can be Neutral again, rather than evil.
Shade: What?
Cham: Shade... Metal Speedy probably told you we were partners, right?
Shade: WAIT, lemme guess. He was manipulating you, but you knew. If you betrayed him, he'd kill you.
Cham: You guessed it.
Shade: ....it's good to have you back, Cham.
Cham: Good to BE back.
Shade: Hey, Daleks, does this mean I can use Thriller again?
Dalek1: WE CANNOT RISK ANYTHING BAD HAPPENING AGAIN. YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH THAT THRILLER DOESN'T REVIVE CLONES, OR TAGLIARE WOULD BE AFTER YOU!
Shade: Oh. ...wait, does it revive hedgehogs?
[cut to the Chao Lobby; Shade is standing in front of the Chao World Exit]
[the Chao World Exit shakes]
[the camera shows an air-shoe step out of the portal]
[focus on Shade's face smiling as Shadow the Hedgehog says the following]
"Uncle"Shadow: Hey, Shade! How ya doin'?
[the screen quickly turns to black]
THE END.

Dark Chao Adventures was created in loving memory of all my chao, including Shade and Echo! But, not Shawn. He's not real.
All: SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!
Shade: We won't do anything epic!





So, that's The Gray Journey, all ten episodes. I hope you enjoyed that kuh-raaazy ride, folks. 'Cause I did. How will the chao live now? You'll have to wait until Season 7 to find out!