Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Episode 85: Final Times (Constant Darkness)

Last time, on DCA, the entire show happened.
This time, the entire show will end.
This is no beginning. This is the final cut. Open up, I'm in love!

Season Eight: The Last Journey
Episode Eighty-Five: Six Degrees of Progressive Darkness, DEGREE SIX: Final Times (Constant Darkness)
What a name to run away from really fast, but I digress!
This story resumes for one last time, within the city of foul creatures and twisted architecture.
The Empty City Where Chao Talk.
Hello, happy waiting room. There are chairs scattered around, and disembodied whispers here and there!
Spawn four characters: Shade the Dark, Dark (Kilburn), Red, and Shadow Ryder/Raid.
One figure watches over them eternally: The Writing Writer, DJay32. That's me.
A slew of figures try to watch over them when they can, but they can no longer do that. The end is coming.
The end will come by the end of this episode.
Let's get this started.

Chapter 1: Hit the Ground Running
Red: Well, a waiting room's as good a place to start as any.
Dark: I would be lying if I said I wasn't sorta afraid.
Shade: I don't blame you, but let's just focus on the task at hand.
Shadow: …what IS the task at hand?
Shade: Uh! ….uh.
Shadow: Like, I know we have to find two chaos drives, defeat the Beta Avengers, and all that jazz. But I have no idea where to even begin.
Shade: Well, we can start by trying one of these doors.
Dark: I really don't want to do this.
Shade: C'mon. It'll be fine. It's just a door.
[they enter the west door, walk down a hallway, and enter a second waiting room]
Red: Okay, this place has a door on the left and right sides.
Shadow: We're not splitting up, I can tell you that. We're gonna have to try them both.
[Shade wanders over to the north door and opens it]
Shade: This one seems to lead to a very long hallway. Here, I'll go down, you guys wait here.
[he heads down, and he thinks he's making progress]
[to the others, he appears to teleport back to the start of the hallway every five seconds and walk back down in an endless loop]
Red: Shade, come back. Now.
[Shade returns]
Red: You were stuck in an indefinite loop. I don't think we can go through here.
Shade: What the fuck is up with this place.
Red: It's okay, it's okay, let's just try this other door.
[the other door leads to a staircase heading upwards]
[up this staircase is a completely empty room]
Shadow: *sigh* Back down the stairs, c'mon.
[they head back down and decide to head back to the first waiting room]
[this time, they go north]
[this door leads them to a long hallway with doors on either side]
[on the other side of the hallway is a large mirror]
Red: Maybe it used to be a doctor's office or some kind of hospital?
Shadow: Okay, there's clearly a lot of doors here. I'd wager a guess of at least ten, upon first glance. What.. are we gonna do?
Red: I think the important question is: Can we respawn if we die?
Dark: I wouldn't risk it. I don't want to risk it.
Shade: Okay. I guess we're just gonna have to carefully open every single door, then!
[the first door leads to a waiting room]
Shadow: Fuck it, anyone got a pen and paper?
[Red does now.]
Red: ..I do now, apparently.
Shadow: Start writing down some kinda map of this place.
[Red sketches where they've been so far and this new door]
[the next door leads to a bathroom]
Dark: Good, now I know where to go when I want to cry because Chao Talk sucks.
[they continue opening every door, finding very mundane rooms like snack bars, offices, closets]
Red: Got it all.
[they have now reached the mirror at the end of the hall]
Chapter 2: Hit the Wall Yelling
[it is here that the chao realize the mirror is not really a mirror, that their reflections disappear as they approach]
Shadow: What?
Shade: I don't even question it at this point.
[they go through the "mirror"]
Red: Great, more doors.
Shade: Let's just.. go to the end of the hall. I'm pretty sure all these doors are mundane stuff anyway.
[at the end of the hall, they enter a door that takes them into another waiting room]
[there's a door here on all four walls]
[Dark tries the east door, only to find it's locked]
[Shade tries the north door, only to find another endless looping hallway]
[Red tries the west door to find a staircase leading upwards]
[as the stairs go upwards, the walls expand and make the room bigger]
[they head up the stairs and find it leads to a wall with a little vent shaft]
Red: ..well, whoever designed this place certainly made it a labyrinth.
[they go into the vent and crawl around a complicated maze]
[they resurface at a hallway of doors, this one not seeming to have an end]
[Shade tries a door, it leads to another very long hallway]
Shade: Uh. …fuck fuck run run run run run RUN RUN RUN RUN
Shadow: What what what
Shade: Down that hall's a huge flood of water, it's coming, it's coming, RUN
[they escape back into the vent and crawl around some more]
[eventually, they resurface in a maze of cubicles]
[they hear the rumble of the water approaching behind them]
[they run through the cubicles, and they leave just as the water enters the room]
[they pass by a locked door in the next room, which is another maze of cubicles]
[the water comes in as they reach the halfway point of the room]
Shadow: FUCK.
[they reach the end of the room and see a key on the ground]
Dark: *grabs* I GOT IT!
[the water hits them and floods them]
[they try desperately to swim to the door, but the water sends them through the next door behind them and they're taken through several rooms of cubicle mazes]
[the water evens out and they are dumped out a window of the building they are in]
[they fall out of the fiftieth floor window and fall all the way down]
[the fall lasts a longer time than they expected]
Chapter 3: Floating Farther Towards the Sun
[Eldritch fingers touch the sun, burn your fingers one by one.]
?: So wake up, sleepy one… it's time to save your world. You're where the wild things are. Toy soldiers off to war.
[Dark wakes up]
[Wilson Constable Kilburn is there]
Dark: Dad.
Kilburn: I told you you'd come back, didn't I?
Dark: I didn't want to. I don't like Chao Talk.
Kilburn: Do you think I do? I'm stuck here. If I try to leave, the Nomble will eat me whole and alive.
Dark: Red Metal is terrifying…
Kilburn: We want the show to end, Dark. We want the Octavarium to come and destroy Red Metal, to kill us for once and for all.
Dark: You want to die?
Kilburn: Dark, it's been years. It's been years and years and years. I don't sleep. I haven't slept a single second. I just wander the eternally-shifting streets forever as nightmarish things spawn left and right.
Dark: Can't we.. can't we do the puzzle mechanisms again?
Kilburn: We can, but they'll just prolong a life that was never meant to be.
Dark: But dad, I don't want to end the show. I just want the Beta Avengers to stop. I just want the nightmares to end.
Kilburn: The Beta Avengers are never going to stop, and the nightmares are never going to end. Don't you see? You guys are being used. You're weapons to end the show, and that's all you need to be.
Dark: But. But what about character development, plot progression, telling a good narrative? We're doing those really well!
Kilburn: This show was never meant to be a literate analysis. It was just a harmless show about chao. But DJay's made it into something far bigger than it ever should have been. Don't you get it, Dark? The Writing Writer is Red Metal.
Dark: ..what?
Kilburn: DJay is the substance that makes things more complicated and nightmarish. He's writing the show this way. It isn't natural fucking plot progression; it's intelligent design, and far malevolent at that.
Dark: But. No, I don't believe you.
Kilburn: Look at the eights and fives. They've only recently came into play; there was no significance to the numbers whatsoever until, hell, this very season. He put them in, himself.
Dark: Yes, but those apply to his greater collective works. It's the motif symbolizing the coming end, that all is going to cycle and end where it began.
Kilburn: He's not going to end it where it began. He's planning on wiping our universe clean. He will not save our worlds, our worlds will surely burn. Good Apollo, he's burning Star IV. He is the Writing Writer, after all.
Dark: But where's the evidence to that?
Kilburn: What does IT do? IT wipes a story clean to make room for future ones.
Dark: But DJay said not to worry about IT; he'd take care of it.
Kilburn: Yeah, he'll take care of it, alright. All the way to his next series.
Dark: I don't believe you! I don't.
Kilburn: How about we ask the Writing Writer, himself? Let's hear the Telling Truth.
Dark: Deej, is it true?
[I.. can't tell you.]
Dark: How about this. How are you planning on ending the show? What's going to happen to us when it's over?
[I don't know. I want you guys to, like, be in the Dark Garden and just indefinitely have happy lives with no conflict, hence no story.]
Dark: Won't that be boring for us?
[No, god, why does everyone always make that assumption? A perfect life, by definition, is not boring. It's PERFECT. Boredom is a flaw. We don't know what a perfect life would be like, as we've never experienced one.]
Dark: Well. you think there's a chance the universe will just be wiped clean, as my dad said?
[There is a legitimate chance. I'm trying to figure out how to write the good ending, though.]
Dark: But, there's a catch, isn't there?
[Yes. Writing the good ending requires putting an end to all possible conflict, and I can't just do a deus ex machina, as that kind of thing is why the Beta Avengers exist in the first place.]
Dark: We have to do really well here, don't we?
[You have to stop the Beta Avengers and ultimately stop Red Metal by your own means, or at least by a means involving me that makes sense in the context of the story.]
Dark: And if we don't, you'll have to just wipe everything?
[Everything. I will not save your worlds, Dark. It's up to you.]
Dark: Can you at least give us some kind of plausible easy route through Chao Talk? The unpredictability is ridiculous.
[I'll see what I can do.]
Dark: And.. one last question. Actually, two.
[Ask as many as you want.]
Dark: First, I want the others here, and I want them to know what I know. No more secrets among us.
[Shade, Red, and Shadow wake up in this place, which is a street. Kilburn had saved the four from their fall and taken them here.]
Dark: My second question. Can you not make this episode feature-length?
[What do you mean? I wanted to end DCA with the kind of epic it's known for.]
Dark: But the thing about those epics, about DCA09 and The Chao World and DCAHall3, about Gears n' Roses and Still Waiting for Half-Time, is that they weren't epics on purpose.
Red: He's right. DCA09 was originally a bonus season, and even when it became a script, it was just you writing until you felt the necessary amount of information had been conveyed.
Shade: Sinister Serials of the Dark was just you writing until all of Sancheria had been explored; it wasn't really MEANT to be as long as it was.
[You're right. Alright. I'm sorry, guys. I'll plan out the rough outline of what I want to have happen, and if it happens to make an epic, so be it.]
[In the meantime, however, you have a conflict to take care of.]
Chapter 4: Egregious Manifestations
[standing a little further up the street is Doctor Eggman]
Egg: Boys, is there a problem?
Shadow: Kinda. Chao Talk is incredibly difficult to navigate.
Egg: Allow me to assist!
[the protagonists fade out]
[cut to the Stardust Eggman; the characters fade in]
Egg: There is a secret entrance to a Chao Talk shortcut in here.
Red: Why is this the first we're hearing of this?
Egg: It's not.
[Eggman's face is a mask]
Chapter chapter: Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter
[SHADE enter]
[ a9dsfks dKEARK ENTER]
Shade:                    what
Chapter 4: Enter Gatekeepers NO MORE ARTIFICIAL LENGTH
Chapter 5: Enter Gatekeepers: Eggman
[the Stardust Eggman melts away, revealing fire and entropy]
[the creature wearing Eggman's skin laughs]
[eight arms]
[five legs]
Egg: We have been watching you for far too longgggg
Chapter 5.2: Enter Gatekeepers: Levity Nite
Nite: WE never again ARE GOING away TO RIP YOU and your world TO scripts SHREDS
Chapter 5.3: Enter Gatekeepers: The Butterfly Collector
Collector: So much more than time has been taken.
Chapter 5.4: Enter Gatekeepers: Doctor Wily
Wily: You thought you could just leave me and that's that? Well, the tables seem to be turning, ja?
Chapter 5.5: Enter Gatekeepers: Andrew Ryder
Shadow: Dad.
Ryder: Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting for this moment, my child? You're about to be rejected.
Chapter 5.8: Enter Gatekeepers: The Final Three
[three figures are standing at the door, difficult to distinguish]
?1: It's about time DJay was taught how to properly end a show.
?2: DCA has always been a show of plot first, surface tension second.
?3: If he wants to end this show, he will have to focus on the plot above all else.
?1: Perhaps he does not realize that this episode is not to be viewed by itself, but in the context of the greater narrative.
?2: The greater narrative is here, open up.
[the roof opens up, revealing skyscrapers extending so far you can't see the sky]
Shade: We're still in Chao Talk.
Chapter 6: Abridged Surface Tension
[cut to an eldritch hedge maze in Chao Talk]
[Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll have been wandering for a while]
MK: Fuckin' hate this place, man.
TD: Amen.
[a figure darts across the screen behind them]
[hedges start to twist and contort]
TD: What was that?
[Mecha and the Doll begin walking to where the figure darted to]
[cut to a constantly-shifting maze of streets]
[the chao known as Stalh, He, and Amphis are running as fast as they can]
He: I'm getting tired!
Stalh: Dude, you were one of the hardest dudes in the challenge races! What do you mean, you're "getting tired?"
Amfy: You're gonna have to keep running anyway; I hear the Nomble right behind us!
[a giant screaming face is shifting towards them]
[a figure jumps in front of its path and the Nomble turns and shifts away]
[He, Stalh, and Amphis stop running and turn to face this figure]
[cut to the rooftops of some of the tallest skyscrapers in the city]
[Chao, White, Speedy, and Knuckle are carefully maneuvering their way across rooftops]
[they eventually reach a roof and stop as a cloaked figure is standing in front of them]
White: Who are y
[Jack White explodes into a gory mess]
[Knuckle explodes into a gory mess]
[Chao panics and jumps off the roof entirely]
Speedy: Uh. Um. Fuck. Fuck. Oh god.
[Speedy tries to jump off the roof but explodes before he gets the chance]
[Chao, falling down an impossibly large skyscraper, grabs onto a flagpole and climbs into a window]
Chao: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I think I'm gonna be sick.
[another figure is in this room with him, this one is not cloaked]
[the camera shows Mecha and the Doll approaching their figure, He Stalh and Amphis looking at theirs, and Chao seeing his all at once]
[they are Tagliare, Echo, and JOE, respectively]
Tag/Echo/JOE: Greetings, protagonists. Welcome to the End Complete.
[the screen fades to black]
Chapter 7: Stop the Progression at Any Rate
[Shade, Dark, Red, Shadow, the eight Gatekeepers, Mecha and the Doll, Stalh, He, Amphis, Chao, Tagliare, Echo, and JOE walk in inside the Camper Festival]
[the arena is empty]
[the antagonists usher the protagonists towards the stage]
[a figure appears on the stage: The MILKMAN]
MILK: The Unwritten End is about to be written.
Shade: This is a hijacking!
[the antagonists laugh]
Nite: What a claim! It's almost as if he's suggesting there HASN'T been heaps of foreshadowing to this very twist!
Ryder: Did you boys honestly believe the Veteran's Committee was supporting you all of a sudden?
Shadow: Well, after you outright told us you were, yeah. ..wait, does this mean future me is one of you?
[the second of "the Final Three" is Future Shadow]
ShadowF: Hello.
Shadow: What's up with this, future me? You said you were gonna help us end the show.
Dark: But we're not trying to end it.
[the protagonists look at Dark]
Shade: Of COURSE we are, Dark!
Dark: No, not the way they are. We're trying to get the good ending. They're trying to wipe the show entirely.
Egg: He's right. Any other ending, including your so-called "good ending," would just be a Hiatus in sheep's clothing.
Dark: Not if all the conflicts are solved before the show ends!
MILK: Would you like to hear our proposed solution for ending the conflicts, Dark?
Dark: What?
MILK: First, we'll kill you. Then we'll wipe the show. There, no more conflict!
?: STOP.
[into the Camper Festival come Shade Junior and both Purflees]
SJR: You're outnumbered, antagonists!
Shade: Junior! Where have you been?
SJR: I spent months practicing Rock Band until DJay came to me and told me I had a much more important task, so I've been training for the day I had to come back to this godforsaken city.
[Shade Junior attacks Andrew Ryder and defeats him]
Shadow: Dad!
Shade: It's okay, kid. He was a plot device character anyway.
MILK: You're entertaining, all of you. We had planned for you to defeat at least one Gatekeeper, which is why we came up with this part of our plan.
[the MILKMAN snaps his fingers]
[the ceiling caves in; the characters not on the stage dive out of the way]
[Stalh and Purflee the second are caught in it and die]
[the protagonists' faces go pale at the sound of his robotic voice]
Red: No way.
Shade: It can't be.
MILK: We're going to be wiping the show clean anyway, so may as well do all it takes to defeat you in the meantime.
[the figure that came with the caved-in ceiling was Metal Sonic]
Chapter 7.5: Abridged Surface Tension Continued
[the Beta Avengers snap their fingers and all the protagonists are taken to the sixth district of Chao Talk]
[this is a series of corridors and highways made of numbers and letters]
Chao: This is bad.
Red: These surface tension chapters are abridged.
MK: Man, who cares if they're abridged? The boss is back, but he ain't on our side! This is REALLY bad!
Red: But guys, why would any chapter be abridged?
PFI: Maybe because the details are boring?
[Red ponders]
Red: And.. this chapter should be the eighth.
TD: Dude, who gives a fuck about the meta shit going on? There are bigger matters at hand!
Red: But the "meta shit" IS the bigger matter, don't you see? The greater narrative is trying to hint at something, SOMETHING, I don't know what.
SJR: It's hinting at the End Complete, isn't it?
Red: But why would it need to hint at what we already know?
Shade: Okay, let's humor this, Red. Maybe the boring bits are being abridged because the chapter numbers need to be significant, and that'd also be why we're still in the seventh chapter.
MK: What, lucky number seven is the bigger chapter or something?
Shadow: It's not the seven. It's the eight. Whatever will happen in the eighth chapter will.. well, probably consist of the ending to the entire show.
Red: Wasn't it the norm for season finales to have eight chapters back in the early days?
Shade: We're looping back. Coming full circle.
SJR: Look. We're not gonna make a difference just speculating. We're gonna have to let the story progress naturally. If DJay's gonna write a good ending, he'll do it without our help.
Red: But the show has been meta so far.
Shade: I think his point is that this current line of discussion isn't getting us anywhere.
Shadow: I agree. We should at least figure out this district of Chao Talk first.
[they explore the maze and find Tail, Luis Green Sumatuma, and Mephiles]
[at the end of the maze, they run into a Gatekeeper]
[it's the first of the "final three:" Future Shade]
Shade: ..future me? You're one of the Veterans?
Red: How does this make any logical sense?
ShadeF: The Veteran's Committee is trying to bring the End Complete, the wiping of the show. I've lived a fifty-year life, and most of it was Hell. I want to wipe the show.
Shade: But. If you're me from the future, that means the show isn't wiped!
ShadeF: I'm not you from the future; I'm you from the past. But to her, I'm just another character in the end. And I do believe we're here at the end now, aren't we?
[the protagonists attack Future Shade]
[Shade and Shadow bend the script, and Future Shade is completely wiped from the show]
Dark: Guys, why did you do that?
Shadow: Two can play at breaking the logic of the greater narrative.
Dark: But.. but…
Red: Don't worry, Dark. If this does anything at all, it shows us a surefire way to stop the antagonists.
Shadow: No. If the antagonists see us trying to bend the script, they'll bend it just as much. There's more of them than there are of us, after all.
[the protagonists continue and find themselves in the City Hall]
[pull the trigger and the nightmare stops]
[the protagonists find no puzzles in the City Hall, and find the entrance to Daedalus Labs open]
[it is blocked by Future Shadow]
ShadowF: You can defeat me, but through this door is the eighth district. Are you sure you want the show to end so soon? Break out of the cycle, boys.
[the protagonists, unfazed, bend the script. Future Shadow is wiped]
[the protagonists enter the eighth district: Daedalus Labs]
Chapter 8: The End Complete has Come (DCA Will End)
[the protagonists wake up in a forest]
MK: Wait, whoa, did we just dream all that?
Mp: Was the entire show a dream?
Shade:'s Sancheria.
Shadow: They just won't stop, will they? They want to bend the script this much.
[a man watches from the distance]
[Shadow turns to face the man and bends the script]
[the slender man is wiped from DCA]
[the slender man comes back]
Shadow: ..fuck.
[the slender man disappears, as do Luis and Tail]
Red: …….we're never gonna see them again, are we?
Mp: The forest has them now.
MK: Really? I thought that tall dude was the one who grabbed them.
Mp: I mean. Yeah, the slender man is the one who.. yeah, just shut up.
[the protagonists cautiously explore a few acres]
[they encounter the final Gatekeeper: Shade's brother John]
Shade: John, I thought you were dead.
John: Logic is thrown out the window with the coming of the End Complete, brother.
[Shadow steps forward, but Shade holds him off]
Shade: Brother, what do you want? What do the Gatekeepers want?
John: The end.
[Shadow bends the script; John is wiped from DCA]
Shade:'s for the best.
[they continue exploring acres of this dark forest]
Red: Why don't we just bend the script to get us back to Chao Talk?
Mp: I get the feeling we never left.
Shade: It's worth a shot, all the same!
[Shade snaps his fingers]
[the chao "wake up" in Daedalus Labs]
[the walls are cold and metal, windows nearby show rooms with heavy machinery and strange science]
[one window is entirely covered in a red substance]
Dark: ..Red Metal. Why did the chao ever take this substance back to the labs?
?: Because science, boy.
[at the end of the hall is a man in a cloak]
?: What? No. No no no.
[the man takes off his cloak-- it's Zero, former antagonist]
Zero: You must be thinking of a different cloaked figure. There are lots of us.
Shadow: What do you want, Zero?
Zero: I hear Metal Sonic is back. Now, I may not be a good guy, but I want to help you stop him.
Red: Why do you want to stop Metal Sonic?
Zero: Because he's living proof of Red Metal. He should not exist, yet the Beta Avengers brought him back anyway. They don't realize the downsides to fucking with the script.
Shade: ..downsides?
Zero: When you bend the script, you increase the likelihood of it ending. Eventually, DJay runs out of ways to logically fix plot holes, so he just wipes everything.
Red: This has happened before?
Zero: Many times.
Shade: Shit. What can we do?
Dark: We can take out the plot holes before the eights and fives take us all away.
Zero: He gets it. But we need to do more than that. We need to come up with explanations to everything that's going on. No plot hole left unfilled.
Red: said they don't realize the downsides to bending the script, but you listed a downside they already knew about. There's more to it, isn't there?
Zero: ..unexpected developments are rising.
Chapter 8.3: Great Unexpectations for Them All
[He explodes in a gory mess-- that is, He the chao]
[Chao screams]
[at the OTHER end of the hall is another cloaked figure]
Zero: There's the unexpected developments! Let's scram!
[the protagonists run out of the hall and enter a giant auditorium]
[there, they see Metal Sonic and the MILKMAN]
MILK: I see you have acquired the aid of Zero.
Zero: I shouldn't even be alive, you fool! You did this, you did ALL of this, and now we're all going to pay for it!
MILK: I want the script to end, Zero. Bringing you back was just a means to an end.
Zero: No, you naive creature. Do you honestly believe you're the main antagonist of Dark Chao Adventures? Do you honestly believe YOU'VE been the one pulling all the strings?
MS: Want me to shut him up?
MILK: No. I want to hear what he has to say.
Zero: All this time, you've always been a puppet. Back in the earlier days, you were the figurehead while JOE was the one running everything.
JOE: He's right!
[JOE jumps into the room]
JOE: Sorry, Milky, but this script hasn't been progressing as to your exact wishes. You want to wreak havoc and be respected, but I've been making sure the entire show will be wiped.
MILK: But.
JOE: No "buts," Milky. You say you want to end the show, but that's an idea I planted into your foolish little head!
MILK: But. …but why, JOE?
JOE: Because I'm not supposed to exist. Do you know what's inside my head? Absolute nothing. Nothing at all. I want the madness to end. I NEED the madness to end.
[the MILKMAN, enraged, bends the script]
[JOE is wiped from DCA]
MILK: There. You got your wish.
Shade: Can we get our wish, dad? Our wish allows for yours at the same time.
[the MILKMAN manifests as an old dying neutral chao-- Shawn, Shade's father]
Shawn: I.. I'm afraid, Shade. I'm afraid of the eights and the fives. I'm afraid of IT. I'm afraid of the Red Metal.
?: Afraid of the Arrem, eh? C'mere, Shawn. I'm lookin' forward to shakin' yer hand.
[entering the auditorium is the cloaked figure, the same figure that has been creeping in the shadows for the whole adventure]
Shawn: And I'm afraid of HIM.
?: I'm lookin' forward to shakin' yer hand.
Shade: Who IS that, dad?
Shawn: He's the fugitive made of metal.
Chapter 8.5: Red Metal (Fugitive)
[Echo and Tagliare manifest]
Echo: You rang?
MILK: It's time for the end.
[the five Gatekeepers manifest]
MILK: It's time for the end! He is here.
[the scenery dissolves, becoming a contorted and reddish distortion of what was once the Camper Festival]
Red: "What was once the Camper Festival?" We were there only three chapters ago!
MS: Screw all y'all, I'm gonna kill this cloaked bastard right here, right now!
[Metal Sonic is devoured by eight and five]
?: If you step outside the eight and five, death will follow suit shortly.
[Echo explodes in a gory mess, leaving five chaos drives that Shadow spots]
?: That one was quite late, but completely necessary.
Red: Stop. We wish to talk. Who are you?
[the figure disrobes, he is the main antagonist]
[he is the Metal Speedy]
MSp: The end will come soon, don't you worry.
[the sky opens up, revealing sky of white]
Chapter 8.6: On the Way to the End of DCA
[Chao Talk's six other districts, wiped from DCA]
[the several video game "worlds," wiped from DCA]
[the long and silent highway, wiped from DCA]
[the goddamn hackneyed court scenes, wiped from DCA]
[every trace of freelance chao, wiped from DCA]
Chapter 8.7: Metal Speedy's Reign of Ending (Unexpected Developments Rise)
MSp: Let me clear some space for you protagonists.

Shade, you sent me to jail. The thing about me, though, is that I increase in power with the more plot holes there are. This is why the Daleks tried to beg you to keep plugging up the plot holes.
I am the figure standing behind every ounce of malevolence in this story. I am the reason the Beta Avengers got any sort of power at all. The TV room ran on the same power I did.
JOE busted me out of jail, wanting to increase the likelihood of the end of DCA. But I didn't even need his help by that point.

MSp: You see, fellows, I am the unexpected developments. Oh, and the Daleks are wiped from DCA.
Dark: You bastard! How dare you!
MSp: Now. I do believe you are gonna play.
[Metal Speedy points at the stage]
MSp: Rubber Goose will paint the ending soundtrack live.
[Metal Speedy bends the script]
[Shade, Dark, Red, and Shadow are on stage]
[the crowd is filled with The Camper]
[Metal Speedy snaps his fingers]
[Professor Shade (the female one) appears on stage]
MSp: This episode now has forty characters total, so…
[Red gasps at a realization]
Red: Forty is eight time five. That is brilliant.
SShade: Hey, guys… I'm kinda scared.
Shade: We don't blame you, friend. Where were you?
SShade: Training with Shade Junior for the End Complete.
Dark: I have a song we can play tonight. "Black Fire Upon Us," by Dethklok. Sound good?
Red: We could do "In the Presence of Enemies!"
[Rubber Goose performs live for one last time]
[towards the end, Shadow dives for five drives]
Dark: The gift we give you is your soul!
[Shadow is a Dark/Run chao]
Chapter 8.8: The End Complete, End for the Main Protagonists
Shadow: Metal Speedy, you're out of time and power.
MSp: No, Shadow. It is YOU who is out!
[Metal Speedy snaps his fingers, as does Shadow]
[Shade snaps in the background, as does Shawn]
[Eight and five wipe DCA]
Chapter 9: Fun with Numbers
[the Dark Garden fades in]
[Shade fades in]
[Dark fades in]
[Red fades in]
[Shadow fades in]
[Shawn fades in]
[Tagliare fades in]
[Levity Nite fades in]
[Eggman fades in]
[Chao fades in]
[Professor Shade fades in]
[Amphis fades in]
[Mephiles fades in]
[Mecha Knuckles fades in]
[the Tails Doll fades in]
[Shade Junior fades in]
[Zero fades in]
Shade: Did we.. did we make it? What just happened?
MK: I think we made it. Metal Speedy ain't here.
Dark: …it's not over, though.
Shadow: What? Why?
Dark: Shadow, you only got five chaos drives. How did you become a Dark/Run chao?
Shadow: …FUCK!
[Tagliare explodes in a gory mess; enter antagonist]
MSp: I had to kill someone to make the character count sixteen. Now, hello.
[Dark explodes in a gory mess; Shade screams]
MSp: There you go, wish granted.
Shadow: What do you WANT, antagonist?
MSp: Power. Absolute power. You dead.
[Zero dives at Metal Speedy, but is wiped]
[Tails Doll charges, then explodes]
[the remaining protagonists flee quickly]
[the Chao Lobby fades in]
Chao: Well, isn't this great? We're all gonna die.
Shade: Just. Just shut up, Chao. We'll be alright.
Chao: No. I'm not shutting up. This is it, can't you see? The end!
Shade: Man, why can't you just leave us alone?
Chao: ME? Why can't YOU, asshole?
Shade: You fucking son of a--
[Shade and Chao spar until Metal Speedy enters]
MSp: Here, let me get that for you, Shade.
[Chao explodes in gory messes]
Chapter 10: The Fight Continues, The Unwritten End Looms Overhead
[Levity Nite and Eggman, exasperated, snap their fingers]
[Metal Speedy disappears, they cheer]
Nite: He'll be back. We didn't kill him off.
Egg: We merely sent him away.
Nite: We need to get things straight.
Shade: Right. What do you want?
Nite: We, the elite Gatekeepers five, want DCA gone.
Egg: That never changed, you see!
Nite: Though we realize it doesn't have to end with everyone being killed now.
Egg: The show, itself, can end without you dying.
Red: Yes, this is why we were pushing for the logical narrative end.
[Metal Speedy fades in, Red explodes in mess]
MSp: Who's next? The Gatekeepers, surely!
[Eggman and Levity Nite explode]
Mp: You fool! You foolish fool!
[Mephiles attacks, but then explodes]
MSp: Eight left. Who next, protagonists?
Shawn: You're out of control, Metal!
MSp: Wrong. I have ALL control! I run everything. Welcome to the machine, friends. The cyber-chao machine.
Shadow: What do you plan once you have won?
MSp: I will replace DCA with Cyber Chao Adventures.
Zero: That's such a foolish plan! You're a madman.
MSp: You're lucky to be within the eight, cretin.
[Zero steps up to Metal Speedy, anger rising]
Zero: I. Shouldn't. Even. Exist.
[Zero explodes, Metal Speedy laughs]
MSp: Wish granted! No more X-Nauts, no more Zero.
[With seven left, I must enter the scene!]
MSp: Excellent, our cast is eight again.
Shade: DJay, can you help us?
[Arguably! I'm not sure, though.]
MSp: He wouldn't dare, lest the show be wiped.
[I'm still trying to figure out an ending.]
Shadow: Can't you just get him away from us?
[Metal Speedy disappears temporarily, there]
Shade: I'm getting tired of speaking in octapentameter.
[That's Metal Speedy doing that.]
SJR: The sad thing is, this had been foreshadowed.
SShade: We need to figure out how to win.
Amfy: What weaknesses does he have?
[I doubt he has any.]
Amfy: What is he, a Marty-Stu?
[He's a villain who has been building power.]
SShade: …I have an idea. Hark!
Chapter 11: Octave Pentameter, Eight and Five
[Metal Speedy comes back, angry]
MSp: That's it, you're all dead!
SShade: NOW
[Professor Shade explodes in messes]
Shadow: Metal Speedy! Tell me! Name who is alive!
[Metal Speedy heaves a sigh]
MSp: Shade, Shadow, Amphis, Shade Junior, Metal Speedy, DJay, and Shawn.
Amfy: Dammit, ten is two fives!
MSp: Simply getting me out of octave pentameter won't end it, protagonists. Such a stupid plan!
[Metal Speedy covers his mouth]
[the ground beneath Metal Speedy's feet gives way]
[Metal Speedy falls into the eights and fives]
[IT has Metal Speedy now]
Chapter 12: If You Think That IT's Pretentious, You Will Be Taken for a Ride
[Shadow is pulled down at the last minute]
[Shade jumps down to save him from IT]


Chapter 13: Eight Plus Five
[cut to the white space behind the text]
[Shade and Shadow wake up]
[Metal Speedy grabs Shadow by the neck, laughing]
MSp: Looks like we're about done.
[Shade dives at Metal Speedy, who drops Shadow]
[Shadow whacks Metal Speedy with his guitar controller]
[Shade attacks with his crowbar]
[Metal Speedy deflects most attacks]
[Shade jabs his crowbar through Metal Speedy's head]
MSp: Heh. ..heh. …heeeee. heeeeeeee, eeeeeeeeeeeeeh
[Metal Speedy finally shuts down]
[Shade and Shadow look at each other, exhausted]
[I snap my fingers. Dark Chao Adventures enters its epilogue. It's the end.]

The End.
The show is over.
What happened to the chao? I can tell you that, sure.
Shade and Shadow were taken back up to the Chao Lobby, where they said "Goodbye" to all that they loved.
They went into the Dark Garden and made a gravestone for everyone who Metal Speedy had killed.
Shade put flowers on Dark's, Red's, Chao's, and Professor Shade's.
Shawn put flowers on JOE's, Echo's, and Tagliare's.
Mecha Knuckles put flowers on the Tails Doll's, Metal Sonic's, and Mephiles'.
Shadow put flowers on the graves of the Veteran's Committee.
When they finished mourning, they hugged each other and thanked each other for the adventures.
Shade thanked Shadow for the memories. Shadow returned the sentiment.

And that's when I wiped DCA clean.

Are they gone forever? I guess so.
They'll always remain with us in spirit. DCA has been one of the most memorable stories I've written. It's been eight long years.
The past three have been pure Hell for Ulysses, but for DJay32, they've been the golden years of artistic progression.
But in the end, Dark Chao Adventures ends the way it began: With a memorial for my lost chao.

Rest in peace, Shade. Dark. Red. Shadow. Female Shade. Shade Junior. Chao. Tail. Knuckle. Echo. Cham. Shade 2.
You've adventured hard.
Now it's time to say goodbye.
Goodbye, DCA.
Written by Jordan "DJay32" Dooling
In loving memory of my chao lost long ago.
Eight years, eight seasons, eighty-five episodes. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the adventures.
I promise you will live on.

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